Hold on

The World has much to offer and you should always reach for it while holding on to what's in front of you. There are things to let go of in life and things to keep reaching for. If you're lucky then you've found the one thing you'll never let go of while reaching for those dreams. Keep holding on to it... Love is grand & full of romance among other things that have nothing to do with being romantic... if you let it happen. You're only a hopeless romantic if you give up on yourself. Be a hopeful romantic! Find, be and stay in Love!

Anyhoo... Here's another bit of photo art that I was playing with a few weeks ago [it really wasn't supposed to see the light of day but some people can't seem to stay out of my photo library... *a little self control please] and a 400 which was a piece I had considered for my first e-book of short fiction Between The Sheets. You can buy my ebook here! Enjoy life, love and breathing.

PS: For those asking & emailing me about my return to posting fiction on the blog... Please think of Matisse for now. I will have an answer or rather something to share soon.

kisses, m.

golden gate vs the lovers 2013

 

 

Tighter.

(2-2-2011)

Through the low lights of approaching evening we are two that become one. Hand in hand walking, our arms locked into each other while our feet match the same stride. The graceful descent of the sun cascades a shadow of lavender across the horizon and a slight chill to the air. The houses seem quieter and less than inviting to our passing steps. Our movements manage to dance in unison through this empty street alone without notice.

The silence that surrounds us sends him into a whimsical mood. With a slip of a hand his arm wraps over and around me with a spin stopping our forward pace. Closer he turns me again and again before taking me in. Hugging gently, his sliding arms circle and lock around my torso. His fingers interlace behind my back. Each finger reaches inward as if to take me in whole. Tighter.

Attempting to match his embrace, my hands scramble. Both arms are struggling to return his hold. Dancing with his merging frame, tighter they squeeze and begin moving closer together. Carefully my probing hands find their way around his body until one ends where another begins. Locking in a grip that rests in the small of his back while my head finds its place upon his chest. Tighter.

The night becomes cooler in our surroundings. Light purple becomes a deeper violet and we’re wrapped around each other in a hold. Our arms are gripping each other securely and pulling without restraint until there is nothing between them. The crushing force of our weight against each other completes the circle. My face rests on his chest looking up into his eyes. His eyes look down into mine and he releases a heavy breath upon my face. I rest my lips upon his neck with a gentle kiss and squeeze. His arms return the constriction and his lips touch my forehead. Our breathing sounds deeper through the force of our embrace. Strained shallow breathes escape with a heaviness that’s familiar. Tighter.

Our bodies have no beginning and no end in the last light of the day. There are no sounds around us. No streets, no houses, and no one walking through the night. There’s only this feeling of security in our circle. In this moment we’re all alone. Alone in the world but we’re connected in our own moment. There’s nothing and no one anymore.

Speak

“You are leading an authentic life when you SPEAK TRUTH OPENLY & REMAIN MINDFUL.”

- m.

Happy Valentines!

 © Diego Munòz : Photo Credit

Happy Valentines Day to all! The lovers, the singles and the babes just starting out on their journey. The above image is one that sets on the desktop of my MAC. It's absolutely gorgeous! I do love to see the love. Why doesn't "The Fabulous Ms M experience it?" Alas, I would experience that romantic love if there was a special fellow... but there is not. So I certainly enjoy all the other aspects of love and appreciate wherever it comes from. Especially on holidays that screams about it from the rooftops! Anyhoo, I'm sparing you the heart-shaped dream house today... or am I? Time will tell. And in the meantime please enjoy a little snippet. A short story if you will, in the form of a love letter. It is also available in my ebook "Between the Sheets" which you can get here!  Enjoy! 

kisses, m.

Awake

(9-29-09)

My love, my angel, watching you sleep is possibly the most exquisite sight these humble eyes have had the pleasure to behold. The sun as it weakly finds its way into our room illuminates your skin and dances in your hair. I can not count the ways I am blessed to wake next to such a wondrous creature each day. The soft sounds that escape your lips as you linger in dreams are pleasant music to ears that had only known din before your song. The dreams in your mind surely can not capture half of my devotion for you. Watching you dream is torment to my soul. I can only envy these thoughts that take you away from me. As while you are away, I can only send you my love. Such peace, my love, is in your body at rest. Still eyes, quiet mouth, and calm breathing. My mind is in eager anticipation to embrace you, possess you in this tranquil moment.

What is in your thoughts that you slumber so delicately before these eyes of mine? Is it your lover in dreams that keeps us apart in such cruelty at night? Dreams provide no definition in reality. Could it be true that my only love prefers the company of such phantoms over waking into my genuine arms? Cruel mischief is at hand, for these thoughts take you where I can not follow. I curse the night and the need for slumber. Angel, dream no more. Leave my side no longer. Dreams are foul, cursed distractions that only filled my mind with torment and yours with peaceful joy. Do I dare to believe you dream of me, as I am here waking and watching as your humble servant without the least bit of hesitation. Darling, how it would be heaven if only you could draw me into your mind. We could be alive in a world that knows nothing of boundaries. To embrace every last bit of your soul, eternally. Ah, but I am denied such an unearthly pleasure. Star-crossed lovers must endure eternities apart, and weak fool that I am, mere hours are unbearable. Jealous of a fantasy world that I can not compete with and lost in my own false imaginings of what it truly means when you are there. Angel wake soon for this madness threatens to take hold. Wake again and save me once more.

Oh, but it is a wonder for you to wake and grace the world with your beautiful smile. Thank heaven for that smile that brightens even my darkest hour. Your smile challenges the shadows before me and lays waste to the despair that is determined to pull me under. My darling, don’t let me down. Awake. My soul wages war on these demons in your absence. It is only whole once more when the dreams restore you to this life. I am yours, devoted and true. I will wait through countless nights and battle the phantoms of your mind. The day I leave is when time runs out without your return and the world comes down before me. Wake my love. Wake.

Love Is Noise

Make Some Noise!

Kisses, m.

Your ex-lover is dead?

stars - your ex-lover is dead

Your ex-lover is dead? Mostly likely not. They are not like dogs and I'm inclined to believe that they don't all go to heaven. Now if you're like 99% of the human population then you have realized that your ex is still living, breathing and existing outside of your circle of life... if you're lucky. Sometimes it's not that simple and they linger. 

Needless to say Valentines Day is around the corner and I've finished my monthly column for the locally distributed ModestoView. Yes, I am not sorry to say that it's filled with great ways to bring more love into your life. Like most of my friends have done, a few of you just choked back a bit of vomit with your less than warm fuzzies about the love business. Which brings me back to where I am right now: Pondering what happens to our exes... Or rather what could happen to our ex-lovers, especially those that don't go away.

So you broke up. The Finite! The absolute end. Or is it? Sometimes people we don't want to EVER see again keep popping back into our life. Again and AGAIN! And yes when that happens you might even contemplate setting yourself on fire to get away. But you don't. No, you don't need to. Now I'm not suggesting you be "the bigger person" at all. In fact, I've come up with some ways that you can dispose of your ex without the wondering if you'll ever have to see them EVER AGAIN! So for the light hearted and happy-enders you might want to find the nearest exit away from the darkness I'm about to unleash for my favorite naysayers who are single this year for Valentines day. 

Without further ado I bestow all of you with a bit of darkness in my true Fabulous form and present 5 Ways To Get Rid Of Your Ex-Lover: 

1) Set them their material things on fire. There's only one way you're setting yourself on fire and that's after everything else is gone. The only sure fire way that he/she will never step foot in your home is if there isn't a reason to be there. No clothes, no things = No reason. Don't fool yourself into believing the obvious excuses. The whole "Where's my Cd's" cha cha cha no longer needs to happen after you've BBQ'd their Best of Disco Classics CD Collection and spare iPod. *disclaimer: Polyester and certain brands of shoes that shall remain nameless are resilient. Plan ahead and have a back-up dumpster in case of indestructible items.

2) Cut up them their pictures with a sharp knife. It's sad to say but everyone is a sentimental sack on the inside. Taking a large exacto knife [scissors work too!]  to their favorite family memories not only guarantees that you're a bonafide psycho it also guarantees you peace of mind that your ex-love will not be returning. If you're lucky they may even run away upon seeing your psychotic display of perversity.  Especially if you superglue Mom and Uncle Mort's heads onto the bodies of Porn Stars when completing your wall encompassing Porn Collage. 

3) Blackmail.No.  Stealing their mail. Federal laws prohibit this one too. However... Change your exes mailing address. Needless to say most couples share everything, including a mailing address. Breakups mean that someone has to relocate and in this case it's your ex. The ex may have already filled out one of those lil ol cards stating where they wanted their mail. And the problem here being, they keep coming over to your house looking for "mail" that isn't arriving there anymore. Sometimes it is best to take matters into your own hands. You have a few choices... A) You can forward all of their mail to a Prison. This makes things interesting when it is Returned to Sender. B) You can send it to a Mental Hospital for the Criminally Insane. This guarantees people will question your ex about their Mental Health. or C) Simply send all of the mail to his/her previous ex including a letter about the highly contagious genital warts that he/she may be infected with. Mail isn't as personal as family heirlooms or material possessions but it's not something that anyone wants their ex going through. 

4) Run them their toes over with a car. It's not a life threatening appendage. It will look more like an accident and poor driving skills than anything. It's guaranteed to send away anyone, including the Witnesses who trespass on your property and ruin your lawn while trying to save your soul. Run over their toes and those witnesses will never make it a mission to save your soul again. Now hopefully setting fire to your exes material possessions, destruction of family memories and fabricated genital warts should  have them running but on the off chance it doesn't, maiming them should definitely slow down their approach to your front door. 

5) Cock/Cunt block them. Call them while you are having sex with someone new. Let me say this one is for the brave and particularly strong-willed. Once you've crossed this line there is no going back unless: Your ex is a moron and a glutton for punishment! To hell with worrying about your ex getting some ass. Who cares? Remember you are NUMERO UNO. You deserve to get someone to fulfill your sexual needs above and beyond. It's best not to worry about the needs of the one that left you. It's their mistake for not realizing your amazing bedrooms skills. Now to remind them how much fun they are missing while making them feel uncomfortable accidentally let your freak flag fly with a little bit of speed dial action when you're intimately occupied with your new amor. The phone call will be quick, catch them off guard and incite a wee bit of irritation. Of course there is always the revenge video sex tape but that can only serve to haunt you on Youtube later. Consider yourself warned. *disclaimer: Let your new amor in on the gag before they become your next ex-lover.


I must say that in no way do I condone any such actions for the fallout of typical breakups but in the case of your undead ex-lover becoming a zombie mutant who needs to move onto another warm body and leave you alone... I'll let you make the call! Kisses to my favorite single naysayers, and for those with an ex that won't die... GOOD LUCK! 

-m.

Define yourself.

Girl in the mirror REMIXED - the fabulous ms m vs Picasso. 

Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. 

- Harvey Fierstein

“Define yourself” she says to me speaking directly to me but across another friend while standing within arms length. It’s an unusual interview with me on one side and a good friend sandwiched in the middle. She proceeds to voice to him loud enough for me to hear, “I’m confused by her answer” and throws me shade while I do my best to keep up a smile. 

It’s always best to give bad news to anyone with a smile. Don’t you think? A sympathetic smile to let them know you aren’t the enemy but you must disappoint. It’s tried and true advice I once decided upon the moment I had to deliver the bad news to a lovely fellow that things were over in nothing. He seemed to take things quite well when I smiled.  So from that day I never forget to smile with understanding. 

Which brings me back to the smiling face of my in-between friend who, like me, hasn’t broken his amidst her incessant demand for an answer when none is needed. Should I have to account for myself to someone else? I shouldn’t. No one should. 

Define yourself. Is it that simple? To always know what’s best for you instead of letting someone else dictate what they think is best for you. To be perfectly honest... it should always be that simple. 

But how does this definition extend itself to “who” we are and interact with others? Are others surrounding us allowed to call into question the way we live our life or is it any of their business? I’m inclined to lean toward the latter question. You see, it’s not really anyone’s concern how I choose to define myself or live my life. The pure purpose of others in or around your life is to love and support you in how you define yourself. If they can not then perhaps they should redefine their own purpose in life. 

The only definition you have for yourself in this life should be the one you set for yourself. As children we are taught that in order to grow up certain things must happen. We must talk accordingly, dress accordingly, live accordingly and so on... 

As young women this often extends itself to the glamorization or objectification of oneself as a sexual object. It’s one thing to grow up wishing to be seen as sexy and quite another to be seen as a slut. Women tend to forget that they hold so much power in their movements and dress that sexual power exudes naturally. For the most part a woman need not shed a single drop of clothing to extend the full power of her sexuality. 

For men the definition often extends to the masculine role of dominance, aggression and any other stereotype that involves toughness. It’s in this that most perceptions are lost. Men are quite capable of the love, compassion and emotion groundwork that women give forth in relationships. The most power a man has is in his ability to demonstrate self-control. There’s strength and self awareness in the choice to know limitation. 

Women and men are capable of reversing gender roles and identities. Which is where I’m finding myself answering my friend’s friend with her challenge of definition. A woman can write, create, design, etc and remain constant in her beliefs. Much like a man has the capability to write, create, design, etc for women and it is not questioned in the least.  

Shakespeare wrote many of his plays with female characters fully developed later to be played by men on the stage. Yet we never stop to question that man’s definition of himself... Do we? Cate Blanchett portrayed a unique depiction of Bob Dylan for the screen and successfully bested her male counterparts in technique and composition of character. The audience never stops to gasp in wonder of how she defines herself at the end of the scene... Do they?  

Is society still hell-bent on living in the dark ages where there are imposed prejudices on what we do not understand? It’s hard to believe that men and women have come so far only to be shaped by the hands of others when they clearly are capable of shaping themselves. In choosing to define oneself it is challenging, but it promises the most discovery and loyalty that a person can give themselves through personal growth. And if you choose to define yourself... know that you will never find yourself in the compromising position of having to tell someone that they got you saying the wrong thing or photographed in an unflattering light because you’ll know what and where you wanted to be in the first place. Oh and next time you wish for someone to define themselves... try defining yourself first. 

kisses, 

m.

Well that's just Fabulous!

Dolce & Gabbana 2012


“Relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”  - Sex and the City


SEX and a little sex...

I've always been a huge fan of Sex and the City and between every bit of heartbreak I take down the box set from the shelf and watch my favorite episodes from the show. From what I hear there's a whole new chapter opening up [THE CARRIE DIARIES!] for the younger generation to become Carrie-fanatics all over again. It's funny that one door closing leads to another. But that is life. All this it reminds me that it's been so very long since I've been here and there on the blog. As I mentioned previously I can not talk about all of it... but in time I will share. At least what I can. So I won't have to kill any of you... OR WILL I? kisses.

I'm writing tonight on something that is so remote from this that it felt as though I was... on another planet away from all human contact aside from Twitter & Facebook. Which everyone knows is TOTALLY REAL LIFE! 

HIGH FIVE? 

Leaving me hanging? 

Really?

COME ON!

Well needless to say I've been on an interesting writing schedule for a few weeks now and playing on occasion. I have to say it is really weird to come back to writing blogs after being away so long. And it since it hasn't been all work it is a lot more liberating than it used to be. So...

Recently I've run into a few old friends and made a few new ones. Some are in new relationships, some are in old relationships, and a couple of friends with some very bad habits. TSK-Tsk! Still love you all. Along the way I happened to meet a new friend that was coming back from or rather I do believe he was about go on Safari once again. Is that the term they call it anymore? Needless to say he was leading an expedition of sorts off into the wilderness of some foreign place after being away for so long. ADVENTURE! That's always fabulous! Oh back to it...

Even though time has brought change and change has brought consistency... It seems no matter where I turn the people around me are all still fascinated by L-O-V-E. 

Shhh! It's a bad word. NO IT ISN'T! 

Some are so very much in it! I do LOVE that! Some are no where near it. Which is fine and dandy unless you are unhappy with that choice. [Yes it's your choice] Others are too busy for it. Oh but not the fellow on Safari! He says he would make time in his schedule for the right person. In this case that will be one lucky fellow! And for Moi? I'm none of the above. I'm happy. I love myself. I don't make myself miserable anymore about things that aren't really in front of me. And I'm never too busy for the important things in life, especially love.

Now you can harbor animosity toward others and make yourself miserable or you can decide to be happy with your choices and realize that you make the best choices with the options that are in front you. If you are happy with what you have chosen then it will show to the world. And there's not much you have to prove to anyone when you are truly happy. It won't matter what anyone thinks. It doesn't. You make yourself happy and then you are capable of bringing so much happiness to others.

I think relationships are that... You find someone and it's a new world that is different from yours or perhaps a similar world to yours and sometimes it's a world that makes you reevaluate the way you are. But ultimately it's really how you live with yourself that welcomes others into your life. If you want to be miserable then you will attract misery. If you love yourself truly then love will truly find you. Ultimately you create the life you want to have, welcome people into it who love you just the way you are and then live it, breath it, enjoy it and if you're lucky... no one yells cut at the end of it.

kisses, 
m.

L-O-V-E and Infatuation.

L-O-V-E / Fisher

I love this song. It’s a cover of a Nat King Cole song. The band… Fisher. Found them in a car commercial many years ago. LOVELY! A little dated but check them out. Worth a listen.

Anyhow, I’m working but thought why not take a breather. Spread a little love for anyone who needs it on a Saturday night. Cause all I can think to spread is the love. "Always love. Hate will get you every time." *wink for any lonely hearts, the song is dedicated to all of you. Everyone is lovely. Even when it seems like no one sees it... still lovely. It’s there. True love is blind to imperfection. It sees only love. Promise.

Needless to say that I love to share anecdotes about those around me with others as a means of perspective. If you recall I mentioned speaking with quite a few people some weeks back. Lovely chit-chatters. Needless to say they all want love, have love and some still don't like love. I was beside myself with all the miserable talk thinking that they have better things to do with their time than be unhappy about something they aren't ready for. I kept saying “ If that's what you want then why are you stopping yourself from letting it happen? let it happen.” I tell them: do what you want, why hold yourself back. Stop fighting yourself. Don't worry about what anyone thinks. Go on.

Now not all are miserable, some have found it while the others have not. Those with the love…Ah yes, there is a couple and it’s their first time so I’m watching and remembering how it all felt once. Those changes you see in the couple. Do you remember your first love?

Love changes the world. The same with compassion and hope. It’s good or sometimes bad, but it’s there. But it’s not always fair in the world. So of course there are those without love and their eyes are stewing with green. I still have to say that a few of them are not ready for it. Meaning? It isn't about body parts, or perfection, and… It doesn't happen overnight. They think MAKE IT HAPPEN NOW without being open to it. And let me tell you something, it doesn't happen like that. Watch a movie, read a book, listen to a romantic ballad. Those things swim with the notion that perhaps it does. The thing with that stuff, it's not entirely wrong. Something does happen instantly and it is and isn't exactly love.

Infatuation.
It’s the beginning of love. The potential.

It happens when you meet someone new and instantly are drawn to each other. New friends are infatuated with each other but it's a bit different. Do you remember meeting your best friend as a kid? It's like that but as kids it’s not a romantic connection. Except with the beginning of those love tingly feelings it's called romantic infatuation. Still the same you can't get enough of each other's company. There are levels to romantic infatuation or attraction that can lead all the way up and down to lust. Now I'm not saying there isn't love or romance out there because of that. It means when you are infatuated that more can come of it when you are open to that idea. I'm a romantic and believe that people who want something more than infatuation, can make that happen. And as a realist I'm not saying there is anything wrong with lust. That is fine and dandy but never mistake that for true love. Lust burns stronger and faster than a light bulb. Worth it? Can't say unless you know. How will you? you know when you know. Back to those couples, the ones that want the old and gray years together... It takes time for something to grow from instant attraction to feelings of love. No BS here... If you want to complain then do it and waste your energy. If not listen... Before you toss someone aside because they’ve lost their flavor of new remember this…

If you want a rose garden you have to plant some seeds. And ultimately expect to put a little work in tending the garden. Nothing grows if you don't give it a little TLC. And if you want wildflowers they're out along the road, free for picking and there's nothing wrong with that.

And remember you’re only a lonely heart if you want to be. No one ever tells you to wear that label. If they do, who are they to tell you anything. enjoy the song. something fun coming. kisses. m.

Hit.

Hit. In. Love. 


Blindsided.
It's hits you... You're in love. No choice. You didn't ask for. But it can't be helped. Like a train wreck. And you're the aftermath. The mess that's left.


Hit - Sugarcubes

Open.
Amidst the intensity. In Love. Not wanting to share it with anyone else. Not holding anything back. Open and willing to give everything if not anything.


Pagan Poetry - Bjork

Over?
It's intense. Fiery. Passionate. Burning bright. Is it enough? Weathering storms. All too soon things come crashing down. Over. Alone again.


Possibly Maybe - Bjork


Dedicated to those who enjoy the game and continue to put themselves through the pain of heartache all for the love of someone that is true. Don't give up. Kisses. m.