Showing posts with label self love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self love. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 22, 2014


Karma is the belief that what you put out into the universe will come back. And know that it returns when you are least certain of it. 

I've spent the last 24 of the last 36 hours upset. A lot. Yes people practicing buddhism cry, get upset and heartbroken too. We also fall in love, we have sex in lust or in love, drink a beer or wine and get angry too. The only good thing about living by principles of Buddhism is realizing the core of your suffering and how to transform it quickly. I'm not inhuman because of spirituality. I'm in fact freer to express myself with the understanding that this feeling is not permanent. You control what you feel. So why was I upset? I changed. My perception did. My illusion of something or someone is changed. I finally let it fall away. You see how we perceive things is our illusion. You don't trust, love or believe in anything or anyone but yourself. You trust, love and believe in your idea of things and people and place faith in it. When that idea changes it upsets us. Love is an illusion and so is trust. When you learn to have the patience to accept that people will let you down then you are free. I am free besides gravity. Though often my judgment fails me :)

Love and life are uncertain and you must accept that. Like it or not things happen or change so you can move toward something else. "Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck," says the Dalai Lama. The job you want goes to someone else not because you weren't the best version of you. At the time maybe someone was a more appropriate candidate. The job went to the other candidate because maybe you are a more qualified fit elsewhere or a better opportunity awaits you elsewhere. The guy you like and find yourself infatuated with meets and falls in love with another girl or another guy breaks things off with you for no reason. You are still a beautiful woman and another man will see things that the other guys did not when they were with you. When you pass by or overlook seeing a friend in traffic one day and then see them another day it isn't personal. It could be perhaps due to your needing to meet someone new in traffic that day you missed them. It's not a slight to your friend who you adore. The universe simply had another plan for him and you that day. 

It doesn't seem lucky does it. It seems like justifying bummers. Look, I could give you more buddhism answers but I've come to find that things work out how they need to for our benefit or for the lesson we need to learn. The universe does not make mistakes. It is Karma. The balance of things we release come back to our lives. These things shatter our illusions of how we think things should be. Our judgement fails us. Even if it is a bummer.

For example, I used to be a bad person with a bad heart who reacted badly to things; I used to use my darker emotions to write about things when I felt wronged. While I am writing again, I won't do that now, I'm simply not doing that. .  Now I knew that the universal balance would someday restore the energy I had given out. I accepted this. So the last few months have brought me face to face with my own karmic retribution. No, make no mistake, it is a painful experience. You simply do the best you can in these matters.  I must take in this experience this in order to be greater than I am and have a capacity to grow. Understand it is amazing to re-live similar experiences and have the capacity to keep going being the path I am on. 

Life will continue to bring the right people and things into my life and yours without us having to force them. And it will also draw the wrong things into our life as well for us to process and cope with and overcome so we can learn to be better people. It's the law of the universe. Here's why...

Later you find that the man who got the job has been downsized in 6 months while you are happy and more successful elsewhere. The men who rejected or passed you by are heartbroken over their new love rather quickly while you perhaps are smitten with a new fellow or simply happy on your own or the timing has brought you to a reconciliation with one of them. And the new friend you meet on that uneventful day could be an important friend that you are excited to introduce to your old friend at a later time. Life is what it is. Let it happen.

Here's a story about jealousy. Personally I don't like jealousy or think much of others that try to incite it. You don't love yourself or anyone when you use jealousy or behave jealously. I couldn't tell you what it feels like as I tend to feel hurt and disappointment by matters of the heart that don't go in my favor or by people that try to manipulate me. It doesn't mean you care less if you don't behave badly or react. You can care a lot but if things were truly meant to be in work, life or love then they would be that way. A friend of mine once told me that causing others to be jealous or being jealous was like stabbing yourself in the gut. It doesn't serve anyone in the end and it only hurts the person causing or reacting to it. I suppose I believe him. It was why I wrote this this story the way I did. 

Be mindful of what you put into the universe. It will return to you when you least it expect it to. And remember it's ok to be upset or disappointed... just don't live in that feeling or try to hurt others. Karma will take care of the people that deliberately wronged you.. Anyone is a jackass for doing it deliberately but you don't have to be. The ones that didn't mean to hurt you don't deserve punishment. Have patience and love them anyway. They are learning too. Love yourself dolls and kens and know that this doll has love and compassion for you. :)

Do you believe in Karma? Are you jealous? Or are you happy for others? Do you try to cause others to get jealous? Hmm... It's never too late to do things differently with people even if they are new people or the same ones you already know.

Kisses, m. 


You have the loveliest green eyes.” is what I always used to tell him the same as I'm telling him now.
But it’s too late for all that.

His blood stained hands grip my face tightly. I need him to make me understand why he did it and I’m not even sure I know what happened.

It happened in a flash. Faster than I could count to ten. His own actions moving faster than I could think. All I can remember is what I was doing before…

There he was. Three feet away from me standing under the grey oak while I was talking with another man and all I can remember is how hard it was to breathe. It’s not the first time, but I’m certain there shouldn’t be another time.

can hear his heartbeat as clear as any sound. The feeling of his pulse beats in his veins beneath the touch of my fingers. As his hands struggle to touch mine his breath edges out three more syllables. “I love you.” And he pulls closer to say another four that contradict those same three. “But I hate you.”

There’s no rhyme or reason when it comes to love. A man will tell you he loves you and then take it away in the same breath of words. You can’t control that.

It wasn’t me, he wanted to hurt. It was the other guy. The one whose fault it is. At least that’s the lie he keeps telling me. When he doesn’t matter at all.

Somewhere in my head the moment it all came down replays like a broken record that’s happened to somebody else. But it didn’t. It’s happened to him. And I’m the reason for it.

Three feet pass by like a wave of nothing. Hands move and fly toward my screaming voice that never stops when I’m looking at him. Between the screaming and waving hands that irrelevant person it’s not about disappears without leaving.

When it happens there’s no one between us. In goes the knife in the middle of our argument. The pain feels loud but there’s no more screaming after it goes in. Down he falls as the knife slices deeper into his gut. As I hold his guilty hands, I still think of how hard it is to breathe.

He wanted to hurt me but he wounded himself instead. That’s the thing though, jealously will get you nowhere.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013


Real Time Stalking: Inauthentic is back for more...

How are you today Inauthentic in Vicksburg? Still stuck at your computer? Go outside. Love yourself more. 

Yesterday's stalk...

Hello Mr. Vicksburg in Jackson, MS,

You call yourself alive?!? So you are "living inauthentic life..." Harassing people on a computer is hardly what I would call living. Well I can't help you with your little problem, except you should learn better grammar. Bygones!

Well let me help a little. Now I see you have no life because this behavior continues... Turn off the computer/your phone and go outside for a bit. You'll thank me later. Especially when you meet a man or woman who authentically loves you. 

Want the definition of inauthentic.... it's you. Don't bother looking in the dictionary. Fame doesn't make a person anymore authentic. The same way as buying things, running around town, name dropping, etc. Nope none of those things. Actually not being famous makes a person more authentic. You can pretend you're from anywhere else but you are really in SoCal. So this is fun, isn't it?

Do you want me to show people who you are? Or are you ready to fall out of love with me or by all means confess your devotion? I like presents. They don't show affections but it doesn't matter since I don't and can't love you back. I still love material objects. Jewelry is best because I can sell it when you leave me. Well I don't love you and I can't tell you fake-ly the lie people tell you because they want you to make them look important. I like to get to know people I fall in love with and I personally have no desire to know you after this behavior. I only date authentic men. You have proven repeatedly you are not. I question your manhood after this. Which I wish I didn't have to but...

Sorry. No I'm not. 

You're inauthentic. Why? Because you spend so much time trying to affect me with this traffic. It's even more inauthentic since... needless to say I don't see it. Really. It's wasted time. You could be doing so much more with your time. Especially since school in back in session. Don't believe me but it's true, I don't see your traffic. I actually have to look for you. 

Which is sooo BORING! But it doesn't bother me. Kisses! 

Well you must like the little favor I've been returning... expect it to continue as long as you bother me I will return in kind. You are really bad at this... it's the truth magician. It's a really sloppy trick you got. I mean why pretend to be anyone else when being yourself takes so much less energy. Besides, I can still see you either way. Want me to show you? Google Analytics isn't hip but other resources are. Please tell your mommy, your family and your tacky bored friends not to bother fighting your battles... it makes you look pathetic. You don't want to be that... do you? Just inauthentic. See ya later  Vicksburg from Jackson, MS on your Android!

Kisses, m. 

Friday, November 1, 2013


On living passionately: when you live passionately there's plenty of time for everything you want to do instead of wasted time. 

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Love yourself

According to Kierkegaard you are leading an authentic life when you are brave enough to Love Openly Happily And Nobly without fear. Love yourself enough to be yourself and love fearlessly.

Kisses, m.

Thursday, October 17, 2013


On having the guts to see beyond: it takes neither guts nor the ability to see past the naysayers to see beyond. Look beyond yourself and you'll have all you need to continue onward in life. Love yourself more! 

Monday, September 30, 2013

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Classy and Fabulous

Always stay fabulous and classy ladies. Love yourself the most. 
                                         kisses, m. 

Sunday, September 22, 2013


The best ability is flexibility. Learn to change your habits & stop wasting time: my time & yours. love yourself more.

Kisses, m.  

Friday, May 31, 2013

At any cost

Only the guilty silence themselves & stop living when facing a challenge. Be authentic to yourself at any cost regardless of what is said to you or about you. If you have nothing to hide in life... Then don't hide a thing. Love yourself the most! Keep living, loving and breathing!

Kisses, m.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

the most

“The most exhausting thing you can do is to be inauthentic.”

- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Be the most authentic! Find the energy! Love yourself more!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013


“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”

- Dita Von Teese

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Define yourself.

Girl in the mirror REMIXED - the fabulous ms m vs Picasso. 

Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. 

- Harvey Fierstein

Define yourself” she says to me speaking directly to me but across another friend while standing within arms length. It’s an unusual interview with me on one side and a good friend sandwiched in the middle. She proceeds to voice to him loud enough for me to hear, “I’m confused by her answer” and throws me shade while I do my best to keep up a smile. 

It’s always best to give bad news to anyone with a smile. Don’t you think? A sympathetic smile to let them know you aren’t the enemy but you must disappoint. It’s tried and true advice I once decided upon the moment I had to deliver the bad news to a lovely fellow that things were over in nothing. He seemed to take things quite well when I smiled.  So from that day I never forget to smile with understanding. 

Which brings me back to the smiling face of my in-between friend who, like me, hasn’t broken his amidst her incessant demand for an answer when none is needed. Should I have to account for myself to someone else? I shouldn’t. No one should. 

Define yourself. Is it that simple? To always know what’s best for you instead of letting someone else dictate what they think is best for you. To be perfectly honest... it should always be that simple. 

But how does this definition extend itself to “who” we are and interact with others? Are others surrounding us allowed to call into question the way we live our life or is it any of their business? I’m inclined to lean toward the latter question. You see, it’s not really anyone’s concern how I choose to define myself or live my life. The pure purpose of others in or around your life is to love and support you in how you define yourself. If they can not then perhaps they should redefine their own purpose in life. 

The only definition you have for yourself in this life should be the one you set for yourself. As children we are taught that in order to grow up certain things must happen. We must talk accordingly, dress accordingly, live accordingly and so on... 

As young women this often extends itself to the glamorization or objectification of oneself as a sexual object. It’s one thing to grow up wishing to be seen as sexy and quite another to be seen as a slut. Women tend to forget that they hold so much power in their movements and dress that sexual power exudes naturally. For the most part a woman need not shed a single drop of clothing to extend the full power of her sexuality. 

For men the definition often extends to the masculine role of dominance, aggression and any other stereotype that involves toughness. It’s in this that most perceptions are lost. Men are quite capable of the love, compassion and emotion groundwork that women give forth in relationships. The most power a man has is in his ability to demonstrate self-control. There’s strength and self awareness in the choice to know limitation. 

Women and men are capable of reversing gender roles and identities. Which is where I’m finding myself answering my friend’s friend with her challenge of definition. A woman can write, create, design, etc and remain constant in her beliefs. Much like a man has the capability to write, create, design, etc for women and it is not questioned in the least.  

Shakespeare wrote many of his plays with female characters fully developed later to be played by men on the stage. Yet we never stop to question that man’s definition of himself... Do we? Cate Blanchett portrayed a unique depiction of Bob Dylan for the screen and successfully bested her male counterparts in technique and composition of character. The audience never stops to gasp in wonder of how she defines herself at the end of the scene... Do they?  

Is society still hell-bent on living in the dark ages where there are imposed prejudices on what we do not understand? It’s hard to believe that men and women have come so far only to be shaped by the hands of others when they clearly are capable of shaping themselves. In choosing to define oneself it is challenging, but it promises the most discovery and loyalty that a person can give themselves through personal growth. And if you choose to define yourself... know that you will never find yourself in the compromising position of having to tell someone that they got you saying the wrong thing or photographed in an unflattering light because you’ll know what and where you wanted to be in the first place. Oh and next time you wish for someone to define themselves... try defining yourself first. 


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Inspiration: Style Icon Marilyn Monroe - Be Wonderful!

"I just want to be wonderful." - Marilyn Monroe.
 photo MarilynMonroe-1_zps4e6e617b.jpg

Marilyn Monroe was a wonderful actress. She was an amazing talented woman. I admire her talent and enjoy a couple of her movies. But I would never want to be her. Why? As wonderful as she is? I'd rather be myself. Wouldn't you rather be yourself?

So you want to be wonderful? What if I told you that you already are? Would you believe me? Everyone can be wonderful. No one needs anyone's approval when they are living life on their own terms. The mirror does not lie, the camera isn't lying either; the image you have in your mind is the thing that lies if it reflects anything other than wonderful.  Now if someone or several people tell you things to intentionally belittle, demean or knock you down... get the fuck away from those people. they are not your friends. But remember unhealthy looks unhealthy even on the most wonderful person and friends aren't trying to hurt you. They want you to wonderful. Why? Because on the other end of the spectrum... self destructive behavior is not wonderful. a person can surround themselves with 'yes' men and ignore the advice of true friends. But in the end no one is being real. Being the best version of themselves is the most wonderful thing a person can be. So if you want to be wonderful... then just BE. kisses. m.