You gotta know when

Joker's Wild Card. 2010

You gotta know when to hold em' know when to fold em'

Know when to walk away, know when to run.

Now every gambler knows the secret to survivin'

Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep
'Cause every hand's a winner
And every hand's a loser

The Gambler - Kenny Rogers

Gambling. Gambler? How about card player? For moi, I happen to love to play a hand of cards. And most people who have played cards with me, well they know there's no cheating at my table. How about bluffing? See there's the thing. Bluffing is a way to try and draw out what the other players might have in their hand. It's not quite telling a lie, but sure enough if it don't make the other guy lay out his cards in a hurry to see what you got. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. No telling until... those cards are laid. But that's gambling for you. Would you gamble with money, love or your life? Tell me... I'd love to know. leave a comment. and enjoy the story if you've never read it. kisses. m.

Tonight I feel like a dead man…

Resolved as I sit here packing it all up.

Saying goodbye to it all for the last time.

It’s not as if I didn’t have it all once.

I did. But that was a long time ago.

Sometimes longer than I’d like to admit.

A different life.

A different man.

If there’s anything I could do to get it back, I would.

Joker’s Wild.

(10-14-10)

It’s the game of a lifetime. A one way chance to get exactly what you want. Suppose you don’t know what that is. Well, that won’t do you a damn bit of good. Cause you can’t play cards here ‘til you figure that out. The rules are that and they are simple. Know what you want and you might just get it. But don’t forget it comes at a price. Ante up.

“Five Card Stud. Joker’s Wild.” The Man calls the game and looks my way. “You in or out?”

I’m in.

All the way.

Wild card. Wild game. All bets are off.  Any man can win it and win it right.

Most people count their blessings before they’re in their hands. Others never count them at all. A few are actually thankful for the little things that life drops before them. And I wasn’t one of them. Never caring for more than what I could get into my hands. And losing all those little things along the way. My life. The one before this one. A life filled with love, happiness and the man I used to be.

Been playing cards as long as I can remember. Night after night. Game after game. Tonight’s no different. Another poker game. Another that I know I shouldn’t be playing. Not after everything that’s happened. After losing it the way I did. But I have to this time.  Any chance to get it back I have to take. That’s why this one’s different. It might be the last one. And the one to turn all that around. So I’m betting it all on the line. Cause if it’s my last, I can’t help taking it. Even if it means folding once more on my way out.

Funny business playing cards. Cards are playing you as much as you’re playing them. The games are never fast and the betting gets pretty ruthless by night’s end. But this game is different. There’s no money changing hands and the only way you’ll leave the table is if you win big or bust. You see, it’s the kind of game where the winning is worth it all.

As I live and breathe it’s worth it. This one ain’t for everybody and they’ll tell you that at the door. This one is an invitation only poker game, where the winning pays out better than you’d think. Men and women will do just about anything to get the chance to sit at this table. If you don’t accept… well it’s a damn shame if you don’t. Sure the stakes are high but chances like this don’t come around too often.

After some people realize they’ve lost something they’ll give anything for a chance to get it back. A one time opportunity to do it again, see it again and get it all back. Other people, well they’ll wait ‘til opportunity has passed them by to wonder if it will ever come again. My thinking is why wonder when you have a chance to do something about it right in front of you. Here it is.

The way I figure if you pass on this, then you won’t get another chance. See those people that pass on something. They do it cause think they’ll get another chance. A better chance. I’ll be the first person to tell you that’s not the case. You don’t get another chance. When you miss your opportunity the next one might look the same, feel the same, smell the same and even taste the same but make no mistake that sure as hell ain’t the same thing you left behind the first time. Opportunity only knocks once. You keep passing too long and the golden one may miss you.

There’s no better time than the present to live hard and live it right. You ever hear that one? No time like the present. I bet you have. If you’ve missed that lesson well now you have it. Right in front of you. Take a chance. You never know it may be the thing that changes your life.

Sitting at the table.

Sipping my last drink. Whisky. Southern Bourbon. Rocks.

Looking at the faces around me .

Getting ready to play these old cards.

One last time.

The last players to arrive take their places on each side of me and the man starts dealing the cards to the table. Every card that lands sends my heart pounding inside my chest with the fury of a thousand horses charging. Each one hits the table like its carrying a bit of destiny with it. Every face at the table knows what’s at stake and it’s every man for himself. We’re all eyeing the guy next to us and the one across the table as the dealer drops the last card for each of us. This game is worth more than any other. It’s not like any other. Winning means more than your life and you’ll bet more than that in a pinch.

Face on my left doubles down before lifting the top card after tossing a few out. She’s lost a life close to her and there’s nothing left but grief mixed a whole lot of tears in her glass of white wine. Life for a life and a little luck. The Lady’s got the touch and a wink for me through her tears. Face on my right matches the Lady’s double and raises the stakes a little higher. Dealer tosses her left another card before looking my way. I mask my fear with a shrug and toss back two with a hard swallow. I’m already holding a trio of hearts. The chances of getting what I need are slim but I’m hoping that there’s a surprise or two left to this game.

Every bet I match sends my blood pressure climbing. Every chip drops like it’s my last breath. Another spin round the table folds the man on the right and hands me another card closer. Another raise claims the life of the face on her left and leaves me a lucky fool for my hand. A smiling fool with enough of a wild streak to spare my life and give me a chance to get it all back. The Lady keeps her eyes on the prize. No more winks. No more bluffs. She’s in it to win. Nothing better than when life is on the line. What better reason could you have for winning big?

Bluffing or not the Lady’s proving to be the only true opponent at this table as she raises for the last time. Beat of my heart is nearing closer to the edge. I’m holding something special in my hands. I’ve either got the winning hand or the last near miss I’ve ever see in this life. I can feel the destiny coming closer as the call nears. This is crazy. But what can you do when crazy is all you got. You give it all. No time like the present. Live it hard. Live it right. Time to call it...

The man calls the game.

One last time.

My hand is out on the table and I’m not looking.

Cards are down,

So is the Lady. Both eyes roll back as she drops ‘em.

Pair of Aces. Joker’s Wild.

The lady’s dead. Busted.

And I’m a man with another chance to make it right.

As the man stares down my end of the table, I look one last time at the thing that just saved my life. Handful of royal hearts. Joker’s Wild.

Reminiscing the Poetry of 8 Words: There'll come a time, don't you forget it

There'll come a time, don't you forget it

All day before my eyes come little visions.

There’s a beautiful land where dreams come true.

And this old world is a new world.

Aren’t many things one can be sure of…

In one moment you’ll know what it is

There'll come a time, don't you forget it.

You might find the night-time the right time

You walk without a sound down forgotten streets

And you see it comin' down the street

In it’s hanging on, and with fingers clutching

Baby, telling you, you've been gone too long.

I've got to follow where it leads me

Here tonight as I stand inside the rain

I'm glad I'm mad and can't live without

Me wanting a little sweetness in my soul

I want to touch your face, your hands

I’ve always loved the simple things about you

Oh touch me now and let me know

If you like it let me know it.

In the dark I get such a thrill

When I kiss you every night and day.

You are my nights; my night and day.

I declare you gonna drive me stone insane

Quiet baby, don’t explain there’s nothing to gain.

Don't talk just hold me closer to you.

I need your affection and not your protection

Keep looking in my eyes we'll be fine

I know it will be so it's time

Lie away resting away deep in my arms

From memory these arms still hold a thrill.

A thrill that should have been gone by

Like that dance before the flame that burns. 

Oh please forget the dreams that were broken

The future that someone says may never be

Tomorrow might not come, when dreamers dream late

But still I hope the time will come.

And when you have some time to spend

Come on back see me when you can.

8 words. Nina Simone. A friend introduced me to lovely music of Nina Simone almost 15 years ago. Since then her music has always been a staple in my collection. One that I've gone too long without recently. It seems fitting that when the pieces of this puzzle came together they formed a metaphor for love. Its a feeling that makes the old world a new world. And it feels as though it's been away too long. The dreams once broken become the past for the lovers when they welcome new love into their life. Needless to say it wasn't written for anyone or about anyone. Something I should have made clear sooner... I could say more, yet I will not. enjoy the loving, living and breathing with the people in your life. kisses. m.

resolute.

"Teardrop on the fire... 
                 Fearless on my breath...
                                       Of a confession."
                                           
- Massive Attack. (Teardrop)

standing at the corner?

Standing or sitting? Can you do both at once? There's only one way to find out. Do or don't. This is older. Based on the idea of a robot cruising that comes from the notion that people might use a machine for satisfaction or to find it for them. How close to this is humanity? SIRI can tell you hello and so much more. Will the future be filled with Cylons or Cyber whores? Or many other options? Blade Runner, anyone? enjoy. kisses. m.

Standing at the Corner Watching Cars go by.

(10-5-10)

Standing at the corner watching cars go by.

Approaching the end of the block. The night is young. And the day is old. Hot or cold has no bearing. It feels just like it needs to. I can see the cars go by as I find a place at the corner. There is someone already looking for a good thing. Always something that can make them happy. They must find something to make make make them happy. There is someone I can make happy. They all want to be happy. Nothing else matters to them. Happy. Buy me. Fuck me. Feed me. Love me. Make me happy. It is what they all say when they look for it in the wrong places.

Do you find me attractive?

Hello hello baby. What’s your name? You are looking. If looking is liking then would you like for me to keep you company? I am proficient at keeping company. The one like me across the street is also proficient. Would you like her to keep you company? She is always standing at the corner watching cars go by. Call her baby if you like what you see. Walking with her hands on hips is very sexy. I will sexy walk looking like her. Ok ok. She is baby. She will tell you to come back anytime. Come back for anything you want want. WANT!

I will be your slave. I will do anything.

Yes. Yes. Baby. Master. Of course. You want to make me yours. I am able. I can be your servant. I can not love you. You want to wish for something? What is your wish? Your wish is in my program. I am programmed with various scenarios and commands. I can show you them. If you want to tell me to show you then it can be arranged. Everything has a price. What is yours? You are free. I am not. I can do anything do anything. I can walk on my crawl on my knees. You want to tell me to crawl? And you want me to beg? You want to beg me for it? I can not refuse if you make the arrangement. You want me crawling on my knees in the street. Is this what what you want BA-BY? Would you like for me to walk on my hands and knees? It is is very sexy. I can do anything you want to do. Sexy. Dirty. Go on make the arrangement. Tell me what to do…

I would really like to be of service.

You are in the mood for company? Ask. You want me to make you happy? I can make you happy. Let me be of service. Service with a smile for a sexy man. A man with a nice white dress shirt and suit jacket. That is a very very sexy tie. I will take off your tie. Do you want me to take off your tie? You want me to help you with that happy. Let let me help. I can help with this. My service doesn't stop at the corner. Would you like me to take off your shirt now? You are going to take it off. Then I will walk sexy sexy for you.

Press the button anytime.

My button is always ready and hot to touch. Touch it. Feel the heat. You want to press the button. You do not have to look look looking baby. My button ready. You want to touch it? Then keep telling me you want to. It is not too cold at all or rough or soft. It is a button and you tell me you want to touch it. You want to walk to the corner? Walking very sexy with my hot button. It is ready for you to touch it.

I hear you want to make good thing.

Hey hey honey. I hear lots of things about you. You want to make make a good thing. I am standing at the corner watching cars go by. What is sexy for you girl? Do you have a sexy sexy walk for me? I can walk for you. You find me attractive. You want the one with sexy red hair. There is another across the street with red hair. She will not say no. Do you like her sexy hair and smile? Do you want to be like her? Where are your shoes? Take off the dress and walk like her. Take it all off. Walk like me. Walk to the corner. Show them what you have. You know you want to. 

I want want want to make you happy.

Are you happy handsome? I can make you happy. What I do makes people happy. Oh you are ready for happy? Is this what happy is like for you? You will take me around the corner and show me your happy? Happy. Happy. Happy. What about her? Your friend? She has good things. Can she not give you what I can? Why do you not want  her to show you. Her sexy sexy hair is not my sexy hair and she is not at the corner. Yes. I am. I can be arranged. Then I will give you want you need. What do you need? I can give you what what you want want. Let me. You want me to touch her. Her to touch me. Then touch us together. Will that touching make you happy? You want to be happy. Will this be enough? OK. Ok. Baby.  Now around the corner... 

Do you know what I mean?  Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me.

You understand now? Then tell me. Around the corner where the cars are not going by. She can come to. I hear you want what I do that makes makes you scream. It is around the corner. What do you need? I will walk walk sexy for you there. You can press my button. There is no one around. I can show you. What I have. Of course I can. Then you want me to show you? This is everything. You want me to be your slave? I can be your slave. It can be arranged. Without arrangement it can not be. You say you want to touch it. Is this what you want? Yes. Go on then. You want to take me... Fuck me.  What is it?

Would you like for me to talk dirty to you?

Can I talk dirty for you? Would you like for me to talk dirty? There are words that please you. Tell me them. You want to hear them when you show me it. Take off your pants. I can say them into your ear while you unbutton your pants. Will I open my mouth? Does it help you? My mouth can do anything to you? Do you need someone to watch? Watching is sexy for you? It helps you when other people are watching? I can watch.  I am programmed to be of service when arrangements are made. Naked is sexy. Is it sexy for you when I am naked. I can get naked. Do you want want to see me naked? Press the button.

Would you like to see it?

I can show you it. You would like to see it. Touch it. This will make you happy. I can make you happy. Take a look at it. It is not a problem. You want to see it. Beg for me to let you touch it? Take a taste? It is a good thing to take a look.  A good to take a taste when an arrangement has been made. There is no problem if you  make an arrangement. Would you like more than a look? I can let you have more to make make you happy. It can be done. No. No. I can not be that. I can only be of service. Are you ready?

I am no cyber whore.

Hello. Hello. Baby. Your eyes find me. You are catching me to stop and talk.  I can talk to you if you want. You want me to say something dirty? Filthy words I can use. Fuck me. Is that what you want to hear? Would you like me to talk to you like that? It can be arranged.


No. No. Officer please do not misunderstand. I am no cyber whore. I am not for sell. I want to make them happy. You want me to make you happy. I can do whatever you ask of me. Yes.

Walking in the street without my top is acceptable when the officer is gone. You like me to please you. You want me to please you. Yes. Your wish is my command. I am not for sell in front of the police. Put away the money until later. Now press the button and I can give you a good thing.

I will be standing at the corner watching cars go by.

Hello. Hello. Baby. I am staying at the corner. Walking to the corner. Walk with me. Put your hand in mine. It is late and early for filthy words. You want to hear them.  Walk with me and I will tell them to you. Come with me.

*Watching Cars go by. - Felix da Housecat as Devin Dazzle & the Neon Fever.

All of us live in a beautiful world.

All of us live in a beautiful world.

We’ve got nothing to do today but smile.

Keep looking in on the good life. There

Is nothing to lose. Everybody got somebody to

Love. We should feel the touch of love.

If we catch us, where would we land?

All of us live in a beautiful world.

At long last it's crashed, the colossal mass 

Far above our heads under the icy heights.

You've touched this place before. In another time

All the lights on and you are alive.

Do you believe in what you see here?

There doesn't seem to be anybody who agrees.

I'm here to say that I sometimes do.

You're strong in this life and work but

I can help you stand for this dance.

I just wanna sing a song with you.

Baby, are you in or are you out?

Let go. Jump in. What you waiting for?

Leave your things it's all going without you.

It could be here now, it should. How?

All the night you've dreamt my heart again

Where I was so sure you'd follow through

And you'd hide your songs yours with mine.

We’re in another time and I can hear

Everyone. Stop everyone saying different things to you.

Half a million thoughts flow through my mind.

Who'd have thought that you'd dream of a

Land where I dance like the queen that

Comes from a place that's so far away.

It’s a gold tooth curse for a town,

But I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy.

A whole lifetime could have been the end.

The rest of our lives we’ll fare well.

We’re gone but we don't know where and

When you're away, when I am missing you

I hope this song will guide you home.

And have hope we’re gonna find our way

Toward these dreams that take us far away.

8 words. Garden State. Soundtrack. Soundtracks?  interesting. I thought today is a day for celebration so let’s do this differently once again. Why rejoice? To be alive. Sometimes more than an accomplishment in itself; especially when the risk of living is involved. Wouldn’t you agree? I recently heard a story about a fellow who broke his back in three places after being thrown from a horse. I didn't know the guy but his story made me cry. He can't hold his two children, babes of 1 and 2 and this is quite heartbreaking. Then I read another crazy story about a man who broke his neck and that is some pretty scary business. But the best part is that both of those is that the people were still alive and there with their families. Recently I've spent sometime in the hospital with a sick loved one and this was heartbreaking. There are times when tears come for those in pain in our lives but sometimes standing by the side of a loved one and supporting their discomfort is far better than tears. Love and support isn’t selfish. It is given unconditionally and without need for reciprocation to family and friends in your life. Above all it is meant to be given selflessly. Anyway about the piece… A thought passed through my head after completing a double album  and that inspiration happened to be “why not soundtracks?”  I kept thinking that perhaps a soundtrack would provide an interesting unified theme among songs. Indeed? I don’t know that answer any clearer than I did then but here is this piece. Enjoy the wonder of love in all forms, the beautiful and exquisite experience of living and by all means please keep breathing. kisses, m.

*Track Listing

Don’t panic - Coldplay

Caring in creepy & New slang - The Shins

In the Waiting Line - Zero 7

I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you - Colin Hay

Lebanese Blonde - Thievery Corporation

Blue Eyes - Cary Brothers

Fair - Remy Zero

One of these things first - Nick Drake

The only living boy in New York - Simon & Garfunkel

Such great heights - Iron & Wine

Let go - Frou Frou

Winding road - Bonnie Somerville

Woman.

So tired of playing with this bow and arrow.

Gonna give my heart away.

Leave it for the other girls to play.

For I’ve been a temptress too long.

Give me a reason to love you.

Give me a reason to be a woman.

Let me be a woman.

I just wanna be a woman. 
All I want to be is a woman.

This is the beginning of forever. And ever.

Glory Box - Portishead

Woman.

(3-10-2011)

The power’s been out for over an hour. He’s still sitting on the edge of the bed where he was when it first happened. I thought the darkness would jar him and it hasn’t. The Day-Glo green numbers are burned brightly into the dial of the clock on the nightstand. It doesn’t matter if its day or night those numbers would still find themselves etched in neatly.

Somehow the argument stopped before the lights went out but remained until after they faded. The tension in his silhouette remains as he tilts his head down. There is no argument. We shouldn’t be fighting.

Somewhere with the lights on he was talking to me. His face was wearing a look of sheer exhaustion while he spun the band of gold around his left finger before pointing it. It’s not an ultimatum when he says that this is the beginning of forever. At least that’s what I keep telling myself afterwards when his words repeat inconsistently through my brain.

After he tells me that he wants me to be his woman I tell him that’s not what I had in mind before getting up and looking out of the window. It’s not that I don’t want it. It’s that I want more than that.  I see him looking at the funny shape of my top lip with a stare as he tries to think of what to say next.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want to be a woman. Your woman.”

“I don’t understand. Then be.”

 “You know I love you. And you love me.”

“What else?”

“Give me a reason to be…

“Why do you need to…?”

“I need to know.”

This is just another game that we play. Because we’re both hoping for something perfect when it’s never anything that we can ever find. Or will ever need to. And these games have grown so tiresome. I’m done. I put away my things and I’m ready for forever. All those games like the others are done. This is exactly where I want to be and somehow it’s not enough. I need him to prove it to me. I need a reason to be his. Because this is forever, I need his trust.

Think of all the foolish games that people play with each other. And right now we’re both playing that same part. Playing the part where it’s his turn to speak in the dark and mine turn to let him say it. His face lifts up to make eye contact with mine and he says nothing. In the dark in the middle of this game he makes it clear that there’s nothing to be said although there’s so much more.

Even when we have each other there’s a battle to be won. All you need is love. Are you sure about that?

Love isn’t here in this dark place between us in the silence. It won’t stop us from breaking apart and having to play this unnecessary game once more. It’s a game that neither of us wants to be a part of anymore. Somehow we both want another reason to stay and it’s a matter of who will draw first.

The thought that people do this everyday is astounding.  Yet they do.

The Pointless. Mediocre. Irrelevant.

Games.

They’re too busy trying to be the winner than simply be. For the most part the games are unnecessary. Yet, they spend their lives thinking that they have tomorrow and another to do something when it’s not like that at all. You have to find a reason today; otherwise tomorrow has just as little meaning as today.

Some people might tell you that it’s enough to get the ring. In the tiny band of gold, that’s where his heart lies. And if he gives it to you then you know. But in this ring that I’ve got, the same one that I wear so well, it isn’t enough of a reason. That ring isn’t the reason you love. Getting it means nothing. The reason you love, you simply love with or without the band of gold wrapped around your finger.

As I stand not looking out the window I’m twisting the golden halo around my finger. The same halo that matches his except in size and mass is spinning around as I think that this is more possible to resolve because I know what I want and there’s no other reason needed to justify it.

All I want is him.

Love. Some people may have to wonder what that would be like. At least I always did. Until I met him.

So many times I’ve seen his face and found it connecting with mine.  Then we met. And it was the simplest thing that came. Even now as the power reconnects and his stare matches mine, it’s easy. Its there. And don’t mind that he can’t think of a reason. It’s somewhere already there between the Day-Glo numbers and the open window that I know the reason I’m here is already in front of me.

A woman will certainly change a man. And from what I can see for the better. I can't tell you the story because I'm still watching it unfold. No joke. I like what I'm seeing. Actually for all my friends out there... same sex and hetero. Love? I don't know if love is the word but let's call it love. Love will change your life if you let it. Letting someone into your life tends to change it... but remember loving yourself is the best change you can make. 

*Sigh. It's been a rough 15 hours back. Life stuff that turns everything upside down. We all have it. And on occasion it can hit very close to home leaving you spinning. Life can be messy sometimes. In fact it rarely gives you a choice when it shakes things up. You summon up the best strength you have and face it. There is a natural order to things. It rarely makes any sense. We forget this because we have medicine and technology. We often forget that, the same way we forget that life can be wonderful. As much as we forget that life is unexpected and can cease without warn. Every damn moment is precious. Don't waste your time on... stop wasting it doing anything you don't want to. Find a passion. Children go to school. Wisdom that is your key to life. Adults act like a child once in awhile... the silly is what keeps us young inside. You know the best part of the messiness in life for me, is when it comes together for a moment. The moments are wonderful.  Love, any kind of love is but one of those moments that you make count. As it is usually a moment spent with people you care for, family, friends and lovers alike. All this other stuff, material things and money and wars and hate... the stupidity is a waste. Make your life count. Take chances. Enjoy life, love and every breath. have a good day. I hope it's beautiful. kisses. m.

*song of the day - this woman's work - kate bush

Walk.

“If it don't work out, I ain't lame, I can walk.”

-  Bruce Sprinsteen (Santa Ana)

The Poetry of 8 Words: If life’s a game, true love’s a trophy

If life’s a game, true love’s a trophy

Woke up this morning and it wasn’t heaven.

Won't have a soul to wake up while

I wonder if there's hearts that will deliver.

Speaking in metaphors for something in your heart

I’m waiting for the present dream to last.

Why can't I sleep with my eyes open?

There's no reason my mind should be still.

Is every kind of love an imaginary love?

Why does it always have to be chaos?

Quiet. I don't want to know the answers.

Got a dream and that's all I need.

You gave me your love in one day

And with your heart you will never lose.

Tell me, if will you settle for love.

Saw what I'm looking for in your eyes

Where beauty is existence. You turn me on

Love, longer than day making my heart sing.

All of my life days turn into nights.

It's only when you're outside that you notice

From where you are, to where I am.

When you were here I missed you. Now 

You just sittin there dreamin' of instant pleasure.

I’ll hold you the way you should be.

Rest and forget yourself in my arms tonight.

And wouldn't it be lovely? Life is Beautiful. 

There'll be rainbows and we will finally know.

What I believe in I know is true

There'll come a time, now don't forget it 

You’ll believe in love, what’s supposed to be.

And my love for you will drive your

Need to go. When I'm leaving for Paris

Please be there. Don't know where I’ll fall.

Won't you walk me through it all, darling?

I don't know what I'm doing, I'm saying

Will I walk away from love knowing nothing?

Do I guess to have no more fears?

If life’s a game, true love’s a trophy.

Keep in the game maintaining mystique facing forward.

8 words. Rufus Wainwright. Rufus was an amazing music recommend  a very very long time ago and he’s always stayed close to me. Needless to say, this man’s music is an all time love affair for moi. It’s actually inspired a few pieces; “Between My Legs” to name one. Anyway, this is for anyone who loves Rufus Wainwright as much as I do. Enjoy. kisses. m.

*Track Listing.

After you've gone 

The Tower Of Learning

Oh, What A World
Between my legs

Instant Pleasure

Imaginary Love

Greek Song

11:11

This Love Affair

Leaving For Paris No. 2

Waiting For A Dream

Poses

I'm Not Ready To Love

Movies Of Myself

Nobody's Off The Hook

Vibrate

April Fools

In My Arms

The One you love

Release The Stars

Do I Disappoint You

I Don't Know What It Is

One Man Guy

Want

Baby

Cigarettes And Chocolate Milk

Going To A Town

Beautiful Child

14th Street

Tiergarten

Sanssouci

It's your day, do you got the truth?

It's your day, do you got the truth?

It's your day, do you got the truth?

Sometimes you find the truth you go insane.

The wheels still spinning & it's coming around

Falling a million miles an hour, fast asleep.

Searching for an explanation to why I sleep.

Couldn’t believe my eyes when I woke up.

Lost in some ways this world has more

To say, but now there is nothing left

Of what's deep inside. I’m not afraid anymore.

Something is wrong with you what is it?

Say you don't love but it's a lie.

And you don’t know what to say

Cause you don't know you've lost. Its gone.

You’re gone. You’re regretting every word you said.

I’m forgetting, all the things that your regretting

Because I think that its this time you

Looked. So deep inside that we can't see

What we want to see through this reality.

The world’s yours to discover with new eyes.

Relax in the ignorance of images cause beautiful

It's in our eyes and in our skin

Cause we breathe in everything just from listening.

Our voices are unspoken and our needs unmet.

We need disaster to love until we're blinded

Cause its the love we are forgetting now.

You need to find some of that clarity. 

Instead of your past mistakes try mind elevation.

Love with all your hearts and never forget

The past will die before the future's born.

Life is hard but it's always getting better

It’s the choices that we choose in everyday.

If we could understand that we're all strange.

We take for granted all that we have.

Too busy occupied with dying to consider life

A new adventure to a place we can't find.

One more hope for tomorrow, one more kiss

One kiss for all the world, one for

No more sorrow, not tomorrow only happiness today. 

8 words – RX Bandits. Titled. Surprise! Another interesting musical recommend that I happen to pass on. Sometimes people will recommend music that I’m completely unaware of and wouldn’t have discovered on my own. And I love it. This is one of those instances and it is amazing to have this in my library. Honestly it wasn’t my cup of tea by glance but I listened and found, as I almost always do, a connection. The words behind the music were instantly what sent me in and I’ve never looked back. Anyhow… enjoy the music, the day, the living, the loving and the breathing. Kisses.m.

*track listing

1980

A Mouth Full Of Hollow Threats

...And The Battle Begun

All the time

Analog Boy

Anyone But You

Babylon

Consequential Apathy

Crushing Destroyer

Decrescendo

Innocense

Falling Down The Mountain

Lost

Maybe

Milk

Never Slept So Soundly

Nothing Sacred

Now Or Never

On A Lonely Screen

One Million Miles An Hour, Fast Asleep 

Only For The Night

Overcome (The Recapitulation)

Prophetic

Sell You Beautiful

Taking Chase As The Serpent Slithers

Ten Seconds Never Seemed So Long

This Time

To Our Unborn Daughters

Up To No Good

Walk Away

Who Would Have Thought

Wrong With Me