Monday, November 10, 2014

Nothing More Than Feelings

Feelings are what you make of them... meaning? They belong to you and you alone. When in love or hate... you can hope and wish that the other person feels them too but you can not count your life on it. You can only trust yourself. Feelings don't come and go like seasons. They are there or they are not. Yet... Fickle people are just that with feelings. Our emotions aren't ruled by the heavens. 

The stars and suns of astrology are fun to waste time with but if you truly rely on the stars to guide your life you are not dealing with reality. The fantasy of which sign is compatible might work in the book but it's not very methodical for life. I love my horoscopes! Mostly to prove them wrong. And I love the sun, stars and moon for they bless me with amazing light to shoot by. 

I will never understand how and why others make situations that have nothing to do with them solely about them but nonetheless I know the moon has nothing to do with being bad mannered. It's a lovely scapegoat for human nature but far from reality. The fantasy of believing you don't control yourself is nice, but it's just a myth. I know what I feel and I am in control of those emotions daily. My feelings are my own... when they have nothing to do with someone else, I suggest that person minds their own business. I don't interfere in others lives. I support, I encourage and give praise when I feel like it. I expect nothing in return. 

When I love and it is true, my feelings rely upon me not the man I love. Whether that person changes or leaves my life should not change how I feel about him. When you love, it is certain. Not waning with the tides... It doesn't come and go. You never stop loving someone. And sometimes I think you love them so much that you find a way to let go because you want their happiness even if you can't give it to them. 

Here's a 300 about missing and trying to reach a lover when you've been gone too long... it's published in my book On The Other Side. You can find on amazon & barnes & nobles for nook and kindle. 

Ever miss someone? Have you ever used a landline or listened to messages on an answering machine? 

Kisses, m. 

Been Trying 

Darling, you there? Pick up. Been trying to reach you for a while now. Just once it would be nice to catch you home instead of getting the machine. Talking like this has become a habit. Out on the road and nothing makes sense without your voice. Forgive me if the machine has 35 hang-ups before you get this message. It’s soothing to me. Your voice. That little lift in your tone brings me a sense of comfort in the busy day to day of this unnatural life. I could stand to hear it again and again. Small relief for a simple man. Actually I’m calling cause we passed through Ves Perti, Texas yesterday. Remember that place? Yeah, I was thinking about you all night. Our first trip out on the road and good ol Ves Perti, that four-way stop out in the middle of no where. That place was hardly an excuse for a town. That small diner next to the gas station is still standing. I found our table in the back with our initials carved into the wood. Dinner and dancing to the old jukebox while the boys in the band laughed us on. That seems so incredibly long ago. Damn. All I can think about is you. Missing you is unbearable. How about next trip out, you come along? For old times sake, come cheer me on. I know what you’ll say, but just think about it. Please? Look, I’ll try calling again before I leave town. Yeah, don’t worry I’ll check the message service and see if you left me anything. Please, keep leaving them. It’s a just a piece of paper, but all the same it’s comes from you. Love you darling. Have a good day. Oh, try not to miss me too much.

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