Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Chasing Rainbows.

Chasing Rainbows.

Chasing Rainbows. Ever chased a rainbow? Yeah they’re real enough. Even the gold is real. What’s the harm in it? It’s a win-win situation. Get to see a splendor on Earth and cash in on the gold.  That’s what everyone thinks anyhow. Including me. Ronny too. And you’d be right to think the same. The brightest take on Earth lies underneath a multicolored hollow. That’s what Ronny was counting on. See I’ve found a rainbow or few in my time. They’re actually easy to find. Very little chasing involved if you know where to look. People tend to complicate things though. Running and running after the illusion, when the real thing is staring right at them. Reflection in the mirror. Understand that the illusion you see in the sky isn’t the rainbow. That’s the reflection.

My daddy taught me about the physics of the heavens. Why the sky is blue, air is textured and how come the twilight meets the horizon with particular colors. Pretty much anything about Earth and Sky my daddy knew the answer. Rainbows and Daylight Rain were his expertise. Particularly since he’d found 17 rainbows in two years and been in three cloudless daylight rainstorms in the less than a six month stretch. The rumor was that my daddy was loony as a bird on account of his time in the war. Honestly he was the smartest and wisest man for his years. I was ten years old when I found my first rainbow. My friends bet me three baseball cards and a handful of marbles that I couldn’t find the base of the rainbow. Little Mickey Green said, “Yer full of shit Jesse! There’s no such things as rainbows. Yer daddy’s telling yarns.” Off I went on my bicycle to answer that question myself. Sure enough ten minutes in the opposite direction I came face to face with the long awaited answer. A shiny pile of gold beneath a colorful curve of light. Daddy never mentioned the gold but certainly it was there. Carefully I walked my bike to the base of the light and stopped. Waving my hand through it never changed the intensity or made a shadow. Beautiful. A small happiness coated my soul. I put in a small piece of gold in my pocket as a souvenir and remained in awe until the brilliant illumination very silently evaporated.

Best days to find Rainbows are when the sun is out. Believe it or not there’s no chance of finding that kind of light beneath a raincloud. It’s right before or just after the storm has passed that the most beautiful things take place. Ronny couldn’t help but badger me for nearly three weeks. Every time he’d spot the rain there was that urge. Took me three hours to talk him down each time it wasn’t right. Then it appeared, in the evening sky just before dusk. The brightest hope yet. I knew this was it. Finding the end wasn’t difficult and my arrogance couldn’t be stopped.  Approaching the ROYGBIV glow of unimaginable joy seemed somewhat lackluster this trip. Maybe it was the scheme behind the trek. The sinister intention. Gather up the prize and make off like kings.

Like kings. That was the plan. I’ve never seen so much joy in any one man. The sheer sight of the colorful magnificence was completely breathtaking. For me, discovering a Rainbow never grows old. Sharing it with another human is almost more rewarding than the privilege of finding gold. For Ronny, the sight of the gold is what sent his soul soaring. Joy sent his mouth into laughter and heart pounding with happiness. Pure greed. I warned him that we’d have little time to waste. Sun was setting and along with it went the light and prize. One bag per man. No more. No less. Leave the rest.

Things were going quite to plan. Nearly filled my bag to the top when out it came. Ronny took out another bag. There was no reason for it. Out of no where it came from the creeping darkness. Sting of sound and flash of light before I could react. “My fucking hand,” hollers Ronny while he stands beneath the Technicolor arch. A miniature figure came out of no where and cleaved off Ronny’s left hand. “That little bastard cut off my fucking hand.” Sure enough he had. Across a sea of golden bliss lay a streak of bloody discord.  Something that I was unprepared for. Unaccounted. The flaw in the plan that went unseen. No matter how many ways you plan a situation, there’s that one thing which goes unnoticed. Nearly a handful of Rainbows and thirty-two years of age ought to give a person some wisdom and in one moment I lost all the answers. All that I’d come to understand from my father went out the window and into the trash cause I wasn’t listening to the most important detail. Greed and blind obsession should not be a factor in your pursuit. Ronny wanted that payoff so bad he could taste it. My prideful fixation with own my talent clouded my judgment in our mission this evening.

Little and menacing stands the gentleman before me. Darkened eyes hide beneath the shadow of impending nightfall. An oversized sickle rests in his hand as he waits for my move. “Jesse, what the fuck are you waiting for? GET HIM!” Ronny screams in my direction. “That tiny fuck took my hand. Are you gonna do something about it or not?” I’m not. A handful of times I’ve been fortunate to find the Rainbow and never once have I come across a guardian. From where I stand it looks as though Ronny is lucky he only lost his hand. Looking over at him I shake my head. The sickle remains lifted up ready to fall.

“Ronny, not this time. Let’s go” Clearly I’ve made up my mind, but I can’t stop Ronny. He keeps filling up the bag one-handed as he holds his stump. There isn’t much time left. Daylight is fading and along with it the multihued light. I’ve dropped my bag and slowly begun to back away. Diminutive stands the threat before me, greater is the potential beyond that fragment of light. Gold is no longer an option in my calculation. “Ronny let’s get outta here.” But greed holds tightly to the mind of my friend. Down falls the flash once again. Before sound escapes the light is gone along with it the bounty, the guardian and Ronny as well. Most of him at least. Resting in the vacancy of space where the tinted light once permeated lays the head of my greedy friend.

Keep chasing Rainbows. Truly it is rewarding. Beauty unimagined before your eyes to take in. Occasionally I still walk into my fair share of them. As long as you don’t expect to find gold there should be no harm in it.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I wasn’t gonna deliver anything themed. It wasn’t planned anyhow. Sort of got inspired over the last few days. If anyone is wondering… Day 13 on the dresser and I’ve finally set the bathroom floor. Idle hands are the devils playground. Yes. You can run amok out of boredom and create brilliant messes.  Chasing things that aren’t really there. No matter what you want it to be, if it isn’t real then you are merely after an illusion. If you want/feel you deserve something and can’t have it, if you think something is meant for you but it isn’t, if you love someone/something that doesn’t love you back, if you think you are in control and you are not… all illusions of the mind. The mind can get terribly lost at times. I’ll raise my hand first to those things if it helps anyone else. But don’t beat yourself up or get discouraged. It means you desire more. And with that there is hope. Always hope and reach for more. We all have the potential. I recall a friend of mine and his words, “you have the potential” have always stuck with me and pushed me through some pretty dark times. Thank you for that conversation a very long time ago and sticking it out with me over the years. Which I’ve digressed and need to get back to my projects. Oh but really, there’s no harm in chasing rainbows. Enjoy the story! M.

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