Saturday, January 17, 2015

Promises, Promises

Ever promise something and not deliver? Words and actions shouldn’t ever be so far apart yet I did break a very big promise in recent months and wounded one of my favorite people because of it.  I do my best not to do this to others. But it happens, I am human and life can get messy at times. In this instance it was beyond my ability to prevent and killed me to break my word. You see it's rare that I break my promise to anyone. I admit I deserve it if you wanted to be mad with me for breaking my word because I know it's not fun. I get that you might be sore about it because, yes it's happened to me too... 

Many months ago someone broke a promise to me, and I didn't get over the hurt of it. I did forgive the person but I never reminded him of the error. Why? You can't change what happened. You can move ahead though. Understandable, it's a shame when we break our word to people. We aren't certain how they will treat us later but you can hope they forgive you eventually. 

Personally I've learned to never expect anything from life. No matter what. Because life is impermanent. :)

How about you? What do you do when you break your word? Or when a friend breaks their word to you? Do you punish them or mistreat them? Or forgive them? 

Here's an old 300 about promises and it's also a second version... 

Kisses, m. 

Here it comes

Here I am lying on the bed watching him as I roll over he smiles and I tease him with a flash of skin before he goes into the bathroom to get cleaned up. He always enjoy a tease and I know that. While the door stays open he tells me “I’m taking a shower” before telling me that he’s gonna take care of me when he’s done and how sorry he is to keep me waiting. 

Sorry. I think about the money I spent on him for a gift and how we haven't been able to make time for each other. I was just looking for someone to pass a little time with and now it’s been so long. Long enough for apologies and for me to get upset.

Maybe I’m tired of things?  Which is a lie I’m telling myself because I’m just tired of waiting. But that doesn’t matter because all I want is a piece of him. And you don’t need to be in love for that. I needed it. I deserved a little piece.

He’s out of the shower and telling me just another minute. He tells me “here I come” before quickly shutting the door. "Get ready." The race is on. Keeps saying how he’s waited so long to give this to me. And he continues teasing me with more, first with a hand on my shoulder then moving up to my earlobe with a whisper to tell me more.

Before I can say “can we take it slow…” his words cease and I hear a “zzzzz.”

Then I think “WHAT!”

A few seconds later he’s sound asleep and I realize I'm too exhausted from my week to bother waking and reminding him of his promise. Race is over. We have a washout. It’ll be worth the wait. 

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