Monday, October 13, 2014


vogue 1952 at the pierre balmain atelier paris

People don't control you or how you feel. You control yourself and how you feel. In Buddhism our compassion and love extends to all. If you want to be a friend of people you generate love and compassion. You cultivate an attitude of kindness to all you meet and extend friendship openly without reservation. As of late I struggle with my attitude of loving kindness to all because of the true actions of others. In the past I've allowed other women to befriend me despite sensing hesitation on my part and without seeing an ulterior motive. I openly admit that I'm responsible as it is always pity that motivates me enough to extend friendship... until their actions instigate a reaction of discomfort. As a result I pull back my willingness to extend friendship because I feel theirs is not from an authentic place. Currently my fear for my own happiness & the happiness of those I adore and their overall personal safety clouds my judgement because the vibe is really off. Ok... Let me explain.

Let us suppose our life is a big room. The people in and around our live's share this space with us. When we are aware and respect others in this space we are all happier and satisfied. When someone is upset, yelling or angry it causes tension for everyone in this space. Having warm feelings and authentic respect for everyone creates a space filled with harmony and peace. However if your motivation for niceness is coarse, false or rude this will have a bad affect no matter how pleasurable you try to make that experience. Your internal mental state will emanate discomfort for others no matter how you pretend externally. It will affect everyone you come into contact with. You internally have warmth and love for someone then they will feel it. You can not mask feelings, feign friendship or pretend to care for others when you do not. Vibes do not lie. People do. WHY? People want control over everything without controlling themselves. 

Here's a 300 about listening to the people pretending to be friends.... What people say isn't always what they mean or truthful. And you must ignore or distance yourself from them sometimes when they don't have anyone's best interests at heart. I always trust my favorite people who have my best interests at heart when they say to simply focus on all the positive you have to be grateful for in life. 

Do you focus on the positive things? 
Kisses, m. 


Control. That’s what they all want. See them running around yelling at each other like that. No respect. No control over themselves so they displace it onto others.

Oh, hello. I’m fitting you today. Lovely meeting you meeting me isn’t it? Although I’m not entirely sure of whom you are but it’s someone on my list of important names. And apparently you’re the most important one.

Christina? Charlotte? My list seems to be out of… wait there you are Rachel Thorn. Not familiar, but very kind. You are welcome. I can read a person a mile a way and you my dear are pure kindness.

From the looks of things they have you down as a size 2, now that isn’t right, is it? But it…

OF COURSE VERA! I know I got the memo. She’s a size 2. Blah-blah-blah.

Tell me, do you like them lying to you or is it you lying to yourself on this? Shh. There’s no judgment. But I’m the last person in the world you can lie to about size. It’s a shame at that. You are a very lovely size 6, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Can’t breathe love? With all this chaos and nonsense who can blame you.

Pills! No, Goddamn it. Alan! Get this person out of my sight she doesn’t need anything like that.

Don’t they pay you bitches to fight with each other instead of bothering me? Go somewhere else and do that. Take your sizes and pills with you.

Ah, breathing? Yes. Here’s a paper bag. Go on. Like when you were a child. Slow. Deep Breathes. Good girl.

Alright let’s not focus on them, let’s focus on this marvelous dress instead.  And honey, no one will know that you’re anything other than fabulous when we’re done.

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