Saturday, June 26, 2010

That’s Better.

This is a bit of an R-rated one. Of course I went there. Sometimes when the idea is there… you go with it. It’s a bit of naughty without a lot of language. On the cusp of being part of the Voyeur set, but just didn't make it. Thought I'd give a warning…

That’s Better.

Late afternoon rush. Tightly packed bodies awaiting the eventual arrival of the subway. As I step forward onto the underground platform, I find myself surrounded in the middle of a securely fitted puzzle of people. Every eye is facing forward at the empty rails. Occasionally like a clock-work machine a few heads make sharp turn to the right and peer down the tunnel. Never do any of the eyes make a glance below the shoulder line. My simple apron dress with a hole in the left pocket conceals my movements.

Trains come and go. Some of the crowd enters and some stays behind. Crowded areas are simply the most exhilarating rush. Attempting to pass through unnoticed. Walking through the crowd that breaks up intermittently. Not at all like this place. There is no reason to hide here. Out in the open amidst a thick sea of strange faces.  Nothing wrong with a little self-gratification. Cautiously my movements shift downward as I firmly brace both legs somewhat spread against the ground. Carefully placed fingers circle around gently penetrating the thin fabric beneath. Pressing and manipulating with a sufficient amount friction to cause a light sensation. Sometimes I wonder if they can see what I’m doing in between the folds of my dress. But wonder isn’t enough of reason to stop.  

Vibrations of the platform climb up and around my legs sending shivers up my spine. Bold and succinct actions are quicker than the eyes that remain forward upon the tightly packed platform. The deeper my hand drifts downward the faster my movements grow. Raised breathes between movements. Slight bumps from tightly packed strangers are a pleasant jar to the overall feeling. The heat of the underground vents makes my skin feel more alive to the unfamiliar touches.

The distant bell tolls and the voice over the intercom gives an indication of arrival. Quicker. The crowd moves forward brushing past me. Faster. Bodies rushing forward to greet the silver tube that is approaching. Deeper breathes. The train sends a rush of heat ahead of it down the tunnel. Like an electric current hurrying along my skin. As the train nears the hurry of the crowded shoves and thrusts against me compelling me nearer to release.

Fifty feet across the crowded mass, I can visualize a pair of eyes. Can they see what is happening?  Watching. Wondering what is happening? Watching me watch them. What are they doing across the way? Pick-pocketing while I’m working overtime unnoticed. Legs lift slightly and travel with the flow of the ebbing mob. An almost pleasant push against those warm bodies ahead, sends the heat all around. Unknown hands touching and forcing at heightened pace.

Bell and voice resounds as a rushing wave of heat pushes through the empty tunnel and fills the underground air. Focusing my eyes to the track I persist to work with the vibrations that intensify with the approach of the train. Rhythmic manipulation continues without end. Every touch, breath, closer. Shallow. Louder grows the surrounding movement. Shallower. The heat crashes upon my face and the sounds of hundreds breathing in echoes. Slowly the silver tube approaches. Further passing. Further. Passing by further and further until reaching a final stop. That’s better.

 “Self Improvement is masturbation.” – Fight Club. Simply because we do it to make ourselves feel better. And honestly there’s not a damn thing wrong with feeling better. Don’t you think? If improvement is what you want, do it. If you like how you live already then stay with it. Own it, but don’t complain about it. Do what you want, when you want, how you want. Just remember to always be kind. It goes along way with others. People suggest, give advice, etc. That’s fabulous and I LOVE THAT! Especially seeing it help others. It is important that people take that advice and indoctrinate it in a manner that suits their lifestyle. Aspire to be great, but aspire to be your own form of greatness. Taking the good and leaving the bad. Aristotle says “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” It takes a smart man to listen to advice, and a fool to criticize it without ever hearing it.

I once told someone I wanted to juggle knives and he laughed at me. I actually don’t think it’s that great of an impossibility. Besides… a year ago I could barely juggle a bottle of water. Now I can barely juggle three bottles of water. Knives will come. More later. Enjoy? m.

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