Saturday, March 13, 2010

Under construction.

Under construction.


Under construction.. In more ways than one. My constructive activity. It’s a lesson in patience. I’m currently stripping a circa 1900-1920’s vanity dresser down to the wood and refinishing. That’s my alternative to all day/night meditation. Love Buddha. It’s helping but need to keep going. Project keeps the head clear and it’s something that someone else will benefit from. There will be pictures. A good friend asked me to share the finished product. I’m excited to share. Still writing. Mostly in small amounts. Taking it easy since I over-killed it. You know take a week off. For some people this is necessary. We are all different creatures and exactly the same. Hiding from the world, destroying things in a room, or crawling back into bed aren’t bad things as long as you know why you are there doing them. Ok… will share a bit more. I’m not going to beat myself up about wanting to reach for more than what was there. In life its good to want for more. Otherwise you'll want for nothing. Now some might say that it's temporary insanity. Or rather that we all suffer the same. Or even that we all go a little mad sometimes. Just remember why you are there. Ah but is it madness to want more in life? So about that? Forget about it. In essence Let it be. Crazy. Beautiful. There’s beauty in tragedy. Every once in a while a sad song is really a happy song in disguise. Appropriately it brought me back to healing old wounds. The ‘fighting myself’ is something that I never realized I did, until I couldn’t stop, even when I tried to. And it’s time for that to stop. Enough from the out of control EGO that thought it was above broken laws, broken dreams, and a broken heart so very long ago. Time to feel and digest the past. It isn’t easy, and it is overwhelming. No more fighting though. Thanks to the friends who keep checking in. Here’s to finding the Inbetween passive and extreme. For all those who seeking the same answers for whatever reasons may you find peace with the pain and have happiness. m.

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