Promises, Promises

Ever promise something and not deliver? Words and actions shouldn’t ever be so far apart yet I did break a very big promise in recent months and wounded one of my favorite people because of it.  I do my best not to do this to others. But it happens, I am human and life can get messy at times. In this instance it was beyond my ability to prevent and killed me to break my word. You see it's rare that I break my promise to anyone. I admit I deserve it if you wanted to be mad with me for breaking my word because I know it's not fun. I get that you might be sore about it because, yes it's happened to me too... 

Many months ago someone broke a promise to me, and I didn't get over the hurt of it. I did forgive the person but I never reminded him of the error. Why? You can't change what happened. You can move ahead though. Understandable, it's a shame when we break our word to people. We aren't certain how they will treat us later but you can hope they forgive you eventually. 

Personally I've learned to never expect anything from life. No matter what. Because life is impermanent. :)

How about you? What do you do when you break your word? Or when a friend breaks their word to you? Do you punish them or mistreat them? Or forgive them? 

Here's an old 300 about promises and it's also a second version... 

Enjoy!

Kisses, m. 

Here it comes

(9-29-2010)

Here I am lying on the bed watching him as I roll over he smiles and I tease him with a flash of skin before he goes into the bathroom to get cleaned up. He always enjoy a tease and I know that. While the door stays open he tells me “I’m taking a shower” before telling me that he’s gonna take care of me when he’s done and how sorry he is to keep me waiting. 

Sorry. I think about the money I spent on him for a gift and how we haven't been able to make time for each other. I was just looking for someone to pass a little time with and now it’s been so long. Long enough for apologies and for me to get upset.

Maybe I’m tired of things?  Which is a lie I’m telling myself because I’m just tired of waiting. But that doesn’t matter because all I want is a piece of him. And you don’t need to be in love for that. I needed it. I deserved a little piece.

He’s out of the shower and telling me just another minute. He tells me “here I come” before quickly shutting the door. "Get ready." The race is on. Keeps saying how he’s waited so long to give this to me. And he continues teasing me with more, first with a hand on my shoulder then moving up to my earlobe with a whisper to tell me more.

Before I can say “can we take it slow…” his words cease and I hear a “zzzzz.”

Then I think “WHAT!”

A few seconds later he’s sound asleep and I realize I'm too exhausted from my week to bother waking and reminding him of his promise. Race is over. We have a washout. It’ll be worth the wait. 

Big Feelings

There are always two sides of a story. And you can not change what's been done but you can go forward. Feelings realized too late or not... You keep moving. After... I wish I did but I m don't think I get a second chance to do it differently with someone. But sometimes the people you adore get another chance to make sacrifices to make their love affairs work. And sometimes stories get sacrificed for another chance. 

Yes, This is a 2nd version. Two voices. A him and a her. It's a love story now I suppose. The original was was written for no one and now revised because someone inspires me to believe that love is a more powerful weapon to create from. 

Do you believe in second chances?

Enjoy!

Kisses, m.

Violently Happy

She loves me. 

He tells me he’s crazy. Tells me I make him crazy with my love. But he loves me. I know this. So much that every time he looks at me I get ecstatic with joy.

My love drives her to curl the pieces of her hair. 

His love leaves me with nineteen kisses. Followed up by a warm hand to hold in the afternoon sun. 

With my love she winds up dancing in a dizzying storm. LOVE. Love. love. Sends her so far up and away. 

Violently happy for me when I’m not near enough. Longs for my kisses. 

Beyond happy she runs towards my loving arms.  She’s an angel and I’ll move both heaven and earth, to remain with her.

Silent whispers in the morning. Lunchtime brings butterfly kisses. Brilliant embraces overtake us as we lay still in the evening. 

Running through the streets barefoot. Happy for my love. Pursuing the wondrous creature in the dark of the night is a blissful challenge

Windows and doors provide barriers from the outside world. Locks meant to keep what’s inside from crossing over. Boundaries that are set in stone for the uninvited. Do not break the glass unless there’s an emergency. There’s a chance our love is meant to enjoy this stillness. 

I know all too well of her attempted coyness as she rounds the corner. The city provides only privacy at this hour. Door after door is a protected barrier from intrusion. Prancing with her bare skin in the streets. Moonlight grazes her beautiful skin as I wrap both hands around her waist. Astonishment when she realizes the pursuit is over. 

Embraces are reminders of true affection. This is his love. Joy is love and my love is amazing. Purple and blue skies spread like track marks across the tired stars. Face and neck recall the souvenirs of his very calming loving kisses. 

Shrieks across the empty square when she feels me. Recognition sends her into a joyous frenzy. Spinning and shaking her curled hair once more. 

The warmth of his arms are a welcomed refuge from the cool air. Nothing can change my heart. Sight of him starts me slowing. He loves me, I know this. Happily I'm violent inside.

Kisses will quench my passion when she returns. She will return and love me. I can’t live without her love. Not without this violent happiness inside me.