Wrap

Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present - and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future. 

~ Audrey Hepburn

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in life that we forget to enjoy ourselves. This is one of my favorite quotes from Audrey reminding us to enjoy the moment. 

Enjoy!

Kisses, m.

Vertical

The first time you see something isn't always the way you think or where you think... Perhaps you've seen it before for the first time elsewhere. Vertical Film Strips are kind of unique, not uncommon and absolutely stunning installed. Yes! They're pretty neat to look at and some people love to decorate their homes with prints of them! I can think of a few design clients homes I've helped acquire filmstill prints for in the past. They are beautiful! It's very exciting to see them! Here's another piece from SMOKE! Comes out next week... 

Have you ever seen vertical film print strips? Do you remember where first? 

Vertical

The first time I saw her she was vertical

Head tilted back laughing while smoking a cigarette.

The lines in her mouth turned into a smile when she looked my way.

It wasn’t the first time we’d laid eyes on each other

But it was the first time I noticed how much I loved her laugh

And the imprint of her stayed with me.

Tonight, again I’m vertical.

Looking at her

As the crowd parts,

I can’t help but smile.

I’m not sure why she’s looking at a guy like me.

I don’t want her to stop.

But she does.

Turning her head.

I know what she wants.

She wants me to come to her.

So I do.

Walk over.
Find my place by her.

I try to talk to her.

Interrupt what’s she’s saying.

I think I’m always interrupting her.

She always tells me I’m not.

Blowing a puff of smoke at me

There’s a hint of nostalgia in her playfulness.

The first time she was smoking a French cigarette

Toying with it in her mouth.

Up down and around.

Making me laugh.

Asking me how I’m doing.

I just talked.

I’m sure it was fine, because she laughed and asked more.

Tonight she’s just reaching out at my arm.

A puff of smoke as she grabs at my hands.

Pulling me down.

Looking into my eyes.

Hinting for a kiss.

I don’t ever want her to stop looking so I concede a kiss.

It’s not enough and she looks away.

Every time she does my heart pulls back and into my chest.

The pressure is unbearable.

The thought of losing that look entices me to sit.

But I don’t.

I tease her with the thought of leaving.

My hands move to untangle from her grip.

She releases smoke at me without a smile.

I know this game is for keeps.

Playing to win.

If win, I get her hand.

She wins and gets mine.

Bend to her will or let go.

Finally removing her fingers from mine

Results in the pout of her lip.

A small reminder that she’s not happy with my actions,

But will proceed.

And proceed she does

With a stroke of my leg.

My hips lean forward.

A physiological impulse that reminds me

To get control.

Unprepared for the reaction of my own body

I edge back until she’s reaching for me and…

Vertical.

Style Icon: Audrey Hepburn: “I never expected to be a star...”

"I never expected to be a star, never counted on it, never even wanted it. Not that I didn't enjoy it all when it happened."

'She didn’t live a life secluded or behind bars; she would walk around and everybody knew her. She was part of the city. The majority of these photos are in the streets,” Audrey Hepburn’s son Luca Dotti - vanity fair

"I am not beautiful. My mother once called me the ugly duckling. But listed seperately, I have a few good features."

'Hepburn’s iconic look was, according to her son, what she thought of as “a good mixture of defects.” Dotti explains, “She thought she had a big nose and big feet, and she was too skinny and not enough breast. She would look in the mirror and say, ‘I don’t understand why people see me as beautiful.’ - vanity fair

Audrey Hepburn happens to be my favorite style icon. She was an almost ballerina, and in a sense I used to feel I was too. As a child I always wanted to be one but it was not a dream we could afford... So I admired Audrey, for being able to give up her dream to pursue other things. Among her fine qualities as a human are compassion and humility. 

Indeed, as beautiful as she was and knew it, Marilyn is not my favorite icon. Marilyn craved love while Audrey gave love to others. I've always admired Miss Monroe for her passion for simplicity, her love of books & pursuit to be more than a sex symbol but that's where it ends.

Audrey was quite introverted, a fashionista when necessary, a marvelous actress, an avid humanitarian and a devoted & loving mother.

"It's quite an acheivement to spend that long in Hollywood and not become a product [of it]... She always manueuvered around that, and that takes intelligence." - Van Johnson

"I couldn't quite fathom that she was real. There were so many paradoxes in that face. Darkness and purity; depth and youth; stillness and animation. She had a fresh new look, a beauty that was ethereal." - Anthony Beauchamp, early photographer of Audrey

"What a burden she lifted from women. There was proof that looking good need not be synonymous with looking bimbo. Thanks to their first glimpse of Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday, half a generation of young females stopped stuffing their bras and teetering on stiletto heels." - The New York Times

"Style is a word we use often and for a multitude of purposes. In the case of my mother, Audrey Hepburn, it was the extension of an inner beauty held up by a life of discipline, respect for the other and hope in humanity. lf the lines were pure and elegant it was because she believed in the power of simplicity. If there was timelessness it was because she believed in quality and if she still is an icon of style today, it is because once she found her look she stayed with it throughout her life. She didn't go with the trends, didn't reinvent herself every season. She loved fashion but kept it as a tool to compliment her look." - Sean H. Ferrer, son of Audrey Hepburn

Style Icon: Audrey Hepburn ~ Appreciate

Life is a wonderful splendor... It's best to appreciate everyone and everything in it truly. Who best to take life lessons about appreciation from than a style icon like Audrey Hepburn...

      

“Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present - and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.”

“Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge, or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you.”

“To live for the day, that would be materialistic — but to treasure the day. I realize that most of us live on the skin — on the surface — without appreciating just how wonderful it is simply to be alive at all.”

~ audrey hepburn 

Beauty

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair.

~ Audrey Hepburn

“I've never met a person I couldn't call a beauty.”

~ Andy Warhol

Possible

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!

-Audrey Hepburn

Possible. Everything is possible. I have had many destinies yet lived & dreams to put forth. Although I have many passions, photography, design, and writing are those that actually produce work. 

I wanted to put out a photo book so I did, in fact 2. I wanted to write ebook novels so I did, 8 or 9? I wanted to write a novel and did...

The novel has never been quite finished since I have been working on it. Lately with the new pieces written, I'm close to calling it completed.

From day one since I've been working on the book, the perspectives/TIA, everyone in my life has always supported and told me this was possible. Strangers included. 

I've only met an ounce of resistance,  from one man, and yep the shitty part of it, he's actually one of my hero's whose work I admire and support. He called my writing "trash" in a visually stimulating way... Maybe he didn't mean it? Funny thing... I hope he did. It means he has an opinion of his own. Why? I suppose we all need resistance from somewhere. I digressed.

For the most part this dream has been so possible and attainable from the beginning that I feel blessed. As most artists struggle for support. I am very lucky that when I discuss my dream with most people and share the book they are incredibly supportive. 

How are they supportive? Everyone I meet & share openly with usually have insisted on giving me help in some way. Which the extreme ranges from phone numbers of writing agents and business cards of book agents to setting up lunches with their publishing editor friends who they swear "will want to publish it after a read." 

I've got the destiny I want as a writer, yet I struggle to finish the novel. No clue why everyone in my life supports the book but maybe it's time to finish... And make it happen.

Here's a short excerpt... 

Alton is one of my favorite characters who has carried more of my own offensive quirks than the others. She's a borderline sociopath and appears in only the other posted excerpts... She has a portion of her own, but this, this is a small part of Alton and she is where the idea for Adrian began...

Do the people you meet support your dream?

Enjoy!

Kisses, m.

Things that go without saying

(10-09-2010)

Things that go without saying.

The mornings start out with a feeling of despair, a sense of remorse for last nights actions. Always the guilt remains. Perhaps over the party or the people, however it isn’t necessarily the case. Some of the parties happen to be fabulous and without a doubt the peak of it all. The fabulous people can’t help but fake it, that’s just what they do. I’m not like them, I’m just me. Not cheap enough to let them own me. Guilty for letting them try.

Even this morning when he wasn’t there. Who, is not important. Just that I’m here still. In his bed, wearing his shirt and reading his tiny notes that apologize by leaving breakfast. It’s in the kitchen. Don’t worry, stay as long as you like. I can’t help the weight that sits in my chest like an anchor pulling me down.

The panic attack hits at 6am during my shower. Heart races like it can’t catch up to the rest of my body as I continue to wash the night off of me. Wash that man right out of my hair along with the 12-hr party the smoke, the drinks, and Johnny C’s blood off of my elbow. Water can cleanse my body, but not my cold dark soul. And there’s nothing to be done about my Cavalli dress with a line of Johnny C’s blow smeared across the breasts and the countless cocktails that fabulous Reggie dropped across my lap while talking to the Countess Jessica Grant.

The darkest moments are after I’ve spent the night out with a man who doesn’t know me, doesn’t love me and doesn’t want to. A man who leaves breakfast before slinking out the door, back to his life, maybe his wife, maybe his girlfriend, back to his real.

Even more revealing is that these are the things, the very REAL things I keep to myself. The pieces of raw, vulnerable me the boys will never know or ask to know. The pieces that I choose to leave behind. The moment I cross the threshold into the party begins the transformation. Put on the best FAKE. Keep it clean. Lift your chin slightly to the right. Now act natural. Posing for the imaginary camera. The one that scrutinizes every little detail that’s wrong. One false move and you are considered bitter. Ungrateful. Tired. Get out of the way. Someone is waiting to take your place.

She can have it. Let her. Maybe I’m bitter. Or ungrateful. 

Knowing that when I return back to these quiet moments alone I can remove my smile, the insincere fraud, like it was a soiled dress. Then comes the dreading for the next time when perhaps I once again won’t have the strength to say no. My hand wipes away the steam coated mirror and leaves me staring at the stranger in the mirror. The haggard woman that drinks too much, talks too loud and moves about the party just because it’s what is expected. Coming face to face with the reflection that my life feels out of control and I want out. But I don’t know how.

My towel wrapped hair and I walk through his wardrobe. Vintage Louboutin heels in the three different colors. He didn’t always live alone. She left her Chanel boots from three seasons ago and faux leather wrap. These tiny remnants of a former ‘someone’ lay at rest among his suits and jackets, demolition denim and t-shirts, watches and shoes. He probably doesn’t know. This reveals more about him than he could ever say. She probably thought maybe I’ll come back someday. And he just didn’t notice.

At least I’ll have fresh clothes. That makes up for breakfast. Not impressive without the company. Why couldn’t he be out getting coffee?  I don’t like waking up alone. Yet I choose to. Notes are getting old now. Yet I accept them. At least he’s the same no one important leaving me notes and breakfast. Consistency is better than just anyone. It appeases the feelings of guilt. And the boots don’t hurt.

These boots, the clothes, the notes, the breakfast all come after the fabulous night. Mornings all alone filled with things that I’ll never say. Things that no one will ever ask to know. Things that they don’t care to know. They’ll never know the guilt, the contempt, or the disgust. What they’ll see is the ensemble, the smile and the best piece put forward.

This used to be the life… maybe I want a new one. This is something that I’ll never say.

Possible

Timeless

Audrey Hepburn & Chocolate! I am absolutely loving this clip! It probably is one of my favorite NEW videos to come from an advertisement. The delightful imagery truly captures the timeless essence of Audrey Hepburn! And once again Audrey reminds me and probably all of us... why settle for some thing when you can reach for whatever the world offers you! 

enjoy! kisses, m.

RECAP!

I would RECAP my HAPPY year for you except I signed two fat non-disclosure agreements that say: I can't! Enjoy Audrey! 

Kisses, m.

 

 Please feel free to check out the previous year's recaps:

2011

2010

2009

2008

How was your year? Did 2012 treat you right?  Anything to RECAP or be HAPPY HOPPY about?

I Believe...

Audrey Hepburn from Philipe Halsman's Jump Series.

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
— Audrey Hepburn


I believe I know myself better than anyone else. I believe that there is good in this beautiful world despite all the bad that happens. I believe that not all things are what they seem and an argument that is not yours should be left alone. I believe in love despite the heartache that sometimes follows. I believe in the power of smiles more than the power of tears. I believe people have more strength and control than they allow themselves to be convinced of. I believe that everything a person is supposed to be is and was already inside of them waiting to be a better person. And I believe there will be a world without need for war.  Do you believe in yourself? What do you believe in?

kisses. m.

Dancing is nothing more than a form of expression or release.

Funny Face

I found something happy! It's Audrey Hepburn's birthday and I had to watch something.
This happened to be what I chose. Very fun scene. Lot's of dancing!

Oh alright here's another scene that I adore. It contains a montage of areas from Paris and France. Mostly Paris. My favorite takes place in the Louvre. Anyhow, I'm all smiles thanks to this lovely film helping me to reminisce about my time in Paris. Enjoy. m.