Friday, June 17, 2016

As


Jealousy is an ugly & negative emotion that’s linked to anger not love. It’s not reflective of how you feel about someone. There’s times where it’s justified and feels like an instinct but realize it’s brought upon by insecurity. No, in fact it does not mean someone loves you more or vice versa. You can show you care in a different manner.  In Buddhism it is considered a form of greed to allow jealousy to consume you. Buddhism teaches that we must understand where these emotions come from and release them. Try practicing mindfulness and metta. It helps me balance my negative emotions. 

 

Now, inciting jealousy in someone is also unnecessary. Talking with a friend isn’t meant to cause jealousness or insecurities. But deliberately inciting jealousy through actions is.  Personally when a man decides to try to  incite jealousy in moi, I immediately have nothing to do with him.  This behavior will always drive things apart. Why?  Inciting jealousy only shows how insecure you are. It shows lack of trust and little regard for your love. If you want attention or validation… let your love know because there are more positive ways to go about it. 

 

And ladies, if your paramour is a mutual friend of mine, rest assured he and I agreed long ago not to be more. Bottom Line:  I could never be with a taken or married man. Adultry goes against my catholic upbringing & my buddhist beliefs about causing harm to others.

 

Here’s one about jealousy from a new series that I’m not sure where it’s going but soon I will reveal. 

 

Enjoy 

Kisses, m.

 

 

As

 

As he stands, 

She follows.

With her eyes, 

She chases after him. 

 

As he moves 

Through the crowd

Closer to me, 

His eyes smile. 

Noticing a familiar face.

It’s been a while. 

A friend. 

 

As he nears 

She scowls,

Pouting 

Like a child. 

Opening a book, 

She feigns nonchalance. 

 

As he nears 

I find myself

Leaning back.

I feel myself

Crawling inward

Wanting  to close my eyes. 

Thinking of waving him away

But I don’t. 

With a hint of sass and smirk, 

I let the moment unfold. 

 

As time has never passed 

Between our meetings,

Without pause, 

He’s pulled me

Into a hug. 

Quiet and brief,

Followed by a laugh. 

That’s far too loud. 

Ending with a smile. 

That goes on forever.

 

As our eyes part briefly

I can see her 

Without Calm. 
She’s hardly breathing. 

The gaze in her eyes,

Hardly masks her anger

Mixed with fear.

Gently mounting tears, 

Are close, 

When she swallows hard.

 

As my trepidation

Grows.

She‘s listening close,

Awaiting his story’s end. 

When it comes it’s all too soon. 

But she welcomes it 

With a crocodile smile. 

 

As we say our good byes

There are no grand gestures

Only see you laters and laughs. 

Grazing my arm, he bids me farewell,

Welcoming the warm hug that follows. 

 

As he is walking away slowly

Making his way 

Through the crowd

Back to her fury.

 

As he nears her, 

His movements slow further.

All the while

His focus shifts

Between her scowl and my smile. 

 

As one arm scolds her envy

While the other waves back to me. 

His unhappiness with her thickens

And grows heavier

With every intense step 

Of his feet.

 

As the focus 

Shifts. 

I collect myself 

Stepping back with a lean, 

Watching her movements

As she watches him continuing to watch me. 

 

 

 *photo credit: Tyler Shields 

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