Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Cloud 9

"How are you smiling & laughing, Monica? How can you be on cloud 9, full of energy & joy, didn't you hurt yourself? Two broken ribs is no laughing matter."

Someone told me this a month ago and I didn't know how to take it. So I kept smiling & thanked her for being concerned.

You see, I did hurt myself a few weeks back, very badly, still more than I care to admit. I honestly crossed "broke a bone" off my bucket list and compared war wound stories with a few of my friends. I won't glorify it because in reality it hurt like nothing else, I couldn't breathe most of the time, I couldn't eat a lot, it took me forever to walk anywhere, I couldn't sit up or drive for very long, I had to cancel plans, push back things & disappoint myself & a couple other people because of the injury. However the silver lining is that the process of healing while challenging did teach me a lot about self care, enjoying life & the simple joys again. I'm so happy to have found gratitude in it & be able to smile/laugh when it was frustrating because I was lucky the injury allowed some mobility.

In Buddhism we learn its up to us to decide how to deal with our reactions to situations, people & things we find unpleasant. You see those things are our greatest teachers. They show us when & how we react and how to release those emotions. Yeah we make mistakes and learn from them. I don't think my injuries, illnesses, or healing experiences are mistakes. I've learned so much from things not going to plan. So while some people can't see the point in smiling or laughing... I can because it's a choice. 

Here's a new 300 from the hair series about seeing things your own way.

Kisses, m.


"It's not an improvement." he says as I look him in the eye from my reflection in the mirror.

"Compared to what?" I look away from him and up out of his gaze.

In the corner of the ceiling there's a small crack he was supposed to repair but he didn't see it. Now it's weepy with moisture from the rain. The rain that's continued since last Friday when I managed to twist my ankle walking to my car. Slipping in the rain because I couldn't see the puddle. 

"I don't know. I just didn't know what to say. I want to see it your way but I can't." He touches my shoulder. I can feel the smile on his face. He's playing and I know it's our game. 

Facing him after a change of color is always fun. Whether he loves or hates my hair he will try to be disagreeable. This time I'm more red than brown and he's not sold on it. Not the way he was the first time I was blonde, brown or red. Nonetheless he's trying to keep it fun.

"I love that you want to try." I reach up and touch his hand. 

"Besides your hair will grow out." He kisses my hand with a laugh.

"How can I trust what you see? You missed the crack and the roof is leaking." I jest and spin around to face him. 

"Your eyes can't be trusted for you to safely walk in the rain." He grabs my waist with both arms and pulls me close. 

"That's why I keep you around..."

"To maintain the ceiling or look over your shoulder?"

"Both and to see things differently when I can't. And besides it'll grow out..."

"That'll be an improvement."

"You love it..."

"I really do."

No comments:

Post a Comment