Monday, February 16, 2015


People forget about things because they choose to do so. If it's important enough a person will do everything not to forget a moment or people. Because people and their moments are forever and impossible to erase. If you are motivated you make someone or something a priority. If not then you don't. I always say: you can't miss someone who doesn't miss you back. Well I'm wrong for saying it that way. So here's the thing: You can miss someone who doesn't miss you back but missing them won't make them miss you back. 

In buddhism, loving-kindness compassion is always the main intention. When you have compassion for yourself then you have compassion for others. Do everything not to hurt others including forget them. How do you find your compassion for others and be mindful of how to treat them? Find love for yourself. When you can't, then you find a way... 

Metta (loving-kindness) is a type of meditation that helps you learn to love yourself and others. It involves identifying with an image or object that easily inspires feeling of love, compassion and warmth. Typically it's best to use oneself as the object for compassion, but some people find this hard as they feel they do not deserve love. If it's easier you can use a friend, family member, a child or an animal as a benefactor for your metta. 

I chose a friend when I first started my metta two years ago. It's amazing because whenever I see this person to this day I still have so much joy and warmth for them. Eventually I learned to transfer this to myself and onto others. You see, the important piece of the puzzle is remember to find someone or something that inspires simple and resolute feelings of compassion and love without worry of reciprocation. 

The point of metta is to connect and experience a sense of unselfish love toward another. Once you find your object, you focus on how you feel about them and let the warmth expand naturally, you can think "may you be happy," "may you be safe" and " may you be healthy" and eventually you turn your metta inward to say "may I be happy" etc., and through that start telling that your critic that says otherwise that you deserve to be happy, healthy and safe. We all do. 

In Buddhism without understanding there's no possibility of true compassion or true love. Remember you must not forget to love yourself first. 

Here's a story about remembering with a flower named after forgetting. 

Do you remember to love yourself?  Do you extend compassion to others? 

Kisses, m.

Forget Me Not.

Forget Me Not. Why that’s a lovely flower.

Is there someone you want to remind? Well that’s the flower that will do it. It’s certainly the thing with Forget-me-not’s. They’re a flower for…

Wait I’m getting ahead of myself. Do you know what it means? You don’t.

Let me tell you what my Grammy told me long ago. My Grammy told me a story that she would swear happened when she was a girl. There was a man and his wife. You see the man was a solider who often left his wife to go off to fight a battle. Right before leaving he would find the biggest and brightest bouquet of flowers for her. In the middle of the arrangement, next to the marigolds you would find a bunch of Forget-Me-Nots. Whenever he left the man would have his wife pin a Forget-Me-Not to the front of her dress and tell her to wear one everyday until he returned. As long as she wore the flower the man swore he would never forget to find his way home to her.  And sure enough every time he was away she wore the flower until he returned.

What do you think? Of course it’s an old wives tale. Is there more? A little.

According to my Grammy the wife had once forgotten to place a flower in her dress while the husband was away. She continued on like this for days. For every day she did not wear the flower she didn’t hear news from or about her husband. After many days she finally placed one on her dress, her husband immediately returned without fail.

Ok. It’s interesting I’ll give you that. What happened? I suppose she never removed the flower again. And yours? Hopefully it keeps someone reminded for you.

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