Tuesday, February 3, 2015


It's hard to tell someone you're working on something without showing them your dedication to the task. I've written and re-written passages from the Novel several times. And held off publishing to do so. Why? Some do not have the hardened tone I had once began with. 

As I started winding down to edit last year I realized that I truly didn't know which parts would fit in the finished product and I began rewriting. I do know I will finish and I am not making excuses. Yes, some characters are harder to process than others. Especially the women in the book. One of them is Jemma and, of course one of my favorites to get into. This is an excerpt written from her and quite unfinished because it's tone is very different from the others and while I want to add to it... I'm uncertain it has a place in the bigger scope of things. What do you think? 

Anyhoo... Do you dedicate yourself fully to a task? 

Kisses, m. 


You’re leading an inauthentic life if you…” trails off the audio book in my newly detailed BMW S-series hybrid sedan that my agent has me driving for the sheer fact that ‘when you’re somebody damn it, then you’re environmentally conscious in this town’ quote unquote.

I am somebody.

Traffic has slowed to a complete stop on the 405 while the wannabe Chopra dictates how to live a more authentic life and instead of really listening all I can focus on is the license plate in front of me that reads BIG THINGS resting above an enormous pair of balls. The larger the balls the bigger the man reads the bumper sticker resting next to the ridiculously extreme nut sack in front of me.

Alton once told me that only the most obnoxious form of trash places those adornments on their cars. We were sitting in front of some newly opened art cafĂ© in the last years oh so trendy Piedmont district when she carefully pointed out the obvious offender with two of her fingers snuggly secure in a ring containing a pair of obscenely large sapphires on her right hand.  She went on to say, “Men put their ego on display by showing off their balls and women tuck their ego neatly into a pair of overpriced shoes or a piece of jewelry,” before flashing her green finger bobbles above a pair of matching Peacock Louboutins she’d stolen from my closet.

As I stop in the middle of the memory to wonder who she’d stolen the ring from I’m yanked forward when the traffic shifts and the Faux-pra is now telling me to “fully commit to your dream” after saying “anything is possible” before jumping back to the tagline “dedicate your life to authenticity” then disc 5 ends and traffic stops once more.

If you want your career to go anywhere you have to be dedicated to what you are doing,” Continues Guru Zero as the traffic crawls to a stop and I realize I'm not going anywhere. How dedicated are you?” 

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