Friday, December 19, 2014


A friend tells me he drove through that storm the other night like a madman to be with his gal. It was crazy, reckless and I called him an idiot... Then he said his lady said the same thing but she also hugged & kissed him for being safe, alive & home in one piece but not without smacking him a good one. Anyway, it got me thinking...

Love is brave and open hearted. But it's not for everyone. We aren't all ready for it at the same time. I don't think it makes anyone a coward. When we are ready we know. Chasing it? It's not love. Being desperate men or women is unnecessary. Perhaps it's best to admit that all people want different things at different times and it's not our role in life to stop them from getting it. Even though they want something different... well I think it's best to keep working with the universe to welcome what you desire instead of working to stop someone from anything they desire. I think the sadder thing would be denying your wants or settling for less than what you want from someone who can't give it to you. I can't imagine guilting a man into a relationship, it would be the greater tragedy when it's nothing he would want with me. So I welcome my time alone when it comes. And I find that I'm happy with or without a paramour. 

Here's an old short piece that is a rewrite... I've posted it before.  It's one of my more memorable rewrites and I don't believe in removing any of the originals because I have newer material. I like to reflect on my older work to see where I've come from. Til then... love dolls and kens, love yourselves, love each other, love your passions, your work, and love having fun and remember real love is already inside of you. You simply need to believe in it to feel it.  

Kisses, m. 

Love Makes You Brave


Love makes you brave. Brave? Stupid. Invincible. Reckless. Mad? I’m thinking as I’m doing 95 driving in the wrong direction. I’m going back. Sure I’d never return again. But she calls me and fool that I am… I run.

There ought to be sirens by now. Nothing. It’s dark out here in the desert. No lights. Even darker since I’m driving without head lamps. It’s cold out in the black night. My skin is gooseflesh and I wince from the night air. Like the cool breath of death, himself, blowing across my skin and I almost forget the pain because of my love for her. My shoulders dislocated and I’ve been shot.

On the run with no plans to come back; that was the case. Well until I saw her. Just as beautiful as the first day I laid eyes on her. She was standing there long and cool smoking those Virginia Death Sticks with her blood red lips and ice cold stare. I’m no match for this vixen. Always was a sucker for a lady. This one’s fated to bring me to my knees. The day my world comes to an end there will be a fireball of trouble preceded by this lovely lady. That much I’m certain of. Love will make a man do some pretty crazy things. There’s another definite certainty. Confuses a man’s mind and throws rational thinking to the wind. Someday, a woman will ask you to give her the world and being a crazy lovesick fool, you might just try to. Did I love her? I think so but I can’t say for sure. But one thing is for sure, I’m driving like a madman across this blackened night, losing a lot of blood and cheating death to return to her side.

The light of the moon is awful bright as it ascends into the dark sky above. The sands and road illuminated in a blanket of blue. Maybe my eyes had adjusted to the night. I’m making good time out here. No one on my tail. Even feels like my bullet wound is starting to clot. Luck is finally coming my way. She used to be a sweet girl. But that girl is long gone and I’ve been shot trying to collect her bounty. I’m supposed to be dragging her in, but here I am attempting to assist in her disappearance. Shot by the police as I’m stealing the money and boosting this car needed to secure her safe departure. Long before morning comes I’ll reach that lady and head away from here. No more of this life. What’s left of it, which isn’t much? Leave it behind knowing I’ve done the right thing for once.

What happened she wouldn’t clearly say? Showed up wanting something, but not asking for it directly; always avoided the obvious. We talked about old times that day she came to see me. Only as she’s leaving does she mention the money situation and problems with the mob. I’m either a really foolish man or just possibly one of the last true gentlemen out there. Lady in trouble needs rescuing. Chivalry should be dead or just downright outlawed. She played me like a game, only she knew the rules and I was a beginner losing my first hand. She needed me and I never stood a chance.

Quiet. Darkness. Engine is full throttle barreling down this endless night highway. In Love. In Pain. I’m heroic in this stolen car with a backseat of money; money that grants her freedom and seals my fate. I’ve got a slim chance of escape after tonight. The law, the gangsters and the dark arm of death all wanting a piece. For now, there’s no one out there or at least it seems I’m alone in the dark. Almost there. Destination filled with the unknown. I shouldn’t be edging closer to this wicked little town. I can feel something waiting. The feeling of premonition filled with an uncertainty of events. But I can’t stop. Won’t until her fate is secure. Death’s embrace is upon me, attempting to slowly closing in.

Death and I are dancing tonight. I can feel him chasing me down. Circling around me. Tracking my next step. We’re like two beasts charging toward each other in the dead of night destined to collide. The collision seeks to transpire tonight in the darkness. It is impending and I can’t outrun it for much longer. But I have to try she needs me to get there. Money by dawn and she lives. No time for wasting. Shoulder can be set later. Bullet just grazed my arm. Blood has finally clotted. No pain. Adrenaline. I’m going to live through this night. I just need one more night. The grasp of death will have to wait tonight. Or at least he can try dragging me to hell himself.
I’m flying down the highway in the wrong direction; 105 mph and there’s no turning back. And I’m brave enough to take on death or any man that stands in my way as I edge back towards the past that haunts me and last place I’ll ever return to.

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