Sunday, October 26, 2014

how do people get clean?

Tattoo's are interesting things. They have meaning, history, culture and honor behind them or nothing at all. Someone may dislike you or decide not to date you because of your artwork or even because they don't like the men that put them on you. You smile and keep going because the things that will make someone dislike or have a change of heart about you, are quite funny. 

I've spent the better part of ten years trying to decide what & how to get tattoos on my body and it's been a personal journey and process that I recommend to others. Why? My tattoos are symbolic to me. They are a reminder of who I am. You must be true to yourself with something like this. It reflects you. A friend of mine says "you are a samurai, monicaness" and as much as women despise male comparisons for they are often given with the intention to diminish our femininity, I can only agree with him... Much like those loyal warriors I strive to epitomize strength & loyalty by carrying my totem with me and no one's disapproval will make me remove them. (** Of course they hurt, I don't enjoy the pain and I cry afterwards every single time. HUSH**) 

So do tattoo's make a person dirty or undesirable? 

They don't. Some of the things you do aren't things that you can wash off or remove no matter what... And why would you want to? You as a person are fallible, prone to fault while also being amazingly talented and gifted by your experiences. You embrace the things you are, for they complete you. In reality the only thing I struggle with about myself is being a writer because the work is sometimes undesirable to others. Why? Honestly, I don't know. To me, the writing is a blessing but in it's true form & depth, it is darkness. I think this is what non-writers can not fathom... The darkness that is within. It's a strength, animalistic and I am in control of it.

Indeed, darkness is also within us... We are both light & dark. Animalistic though...? Many animals in fact. In buddhism we are connected to the planet, and animals like people are a part of us and give us strength. And in Japanese culture it is a belief that you prepare your body and triumph over pain rather than succumb to it.  In essence you control your pain by owning and numbing it instead of pretending it does not exist. Pain can lead to the darkness that is always a part of us. You can develop a threshold and maintain control or let it consume you. 

So how do people get clean? We don't. You and I cannot wash clean who we are. Well I wouldn't want to... Ever. I don't know about you? For me... To lose one piece, is to lose all. We are all love within our light and dark. You can not be one without the other. Embrace your true nature. If you can't, you must learn to. If you don't, you will never be able to let others embrace and love you completely because you don't. 

Who you are without external negative influences such as drugs, alcohol, etc., is who you should be. When you love someone, including yourself, you accept & honor them entirely with every part of who they are. Dirty or Clean. Writer, designer, artist or photographer... tattoos or no tattoos. Love yourself more and someone will love the true you. And you find love in exactly who they are too.

Personally, I could never be with a man who doesn't embrace that I have tattoos, that I travel, that I am both a writer & a visual person because he wouldn't be in love with who I was if I needed to change. Dark & light. Strength and Loyalty. Without one you can not have the other. I will always be both yin&yang. Get it? You can't change to make someone love you. You have to love yourself. No ultimatum will make me choose not to be myself or more like another woman to please a man. Another man will love all of me as I am. Someone will love all of you as you are. It's not a risk. Trust it.

Are there things you've done that you can't wash off?
Would you remove things from your past if you could? Why? 
Do you have tattoos? 
Would you ever get one? 
Want to remove one? 

Kisses, m.

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