Monday, June 9, 2014


Breathe. Things are always able to be brought back to the moment. You can always control yourself. Other people... Not so much. Let it go. You'll be happier. 

Rarely do we get second chances in life but they are there... If you don't resist. The crazy thing is that most of our second chances have little to with the same people and more to do with us. You are meant to grow, change & move forward. Meeting new people is part of that. People who don't challenge your mind or don't insist you take accountability for yourself aren't helping you, they are helping themselves. It's not their job to change you... That's your job.

Unlike religion... In Zen Buddhism we are given answers. But taught not to take them at face value. To challenge, question & seek them out for ourselves. And most of all there is no confessor or person to report to when you don't follow through, hurt someone or mess up. You are in charge of yourself. Being responsible for your actions good or bad is up to you. Why? What happens like when your confessor is too busy to deal with you. Exactly. You must be responsible for your happy & unhappy thoughts. No one else.

What am I getting at? There's never going to be a better time or more complete circumstances for happiness or living life. You can not set prerequisite reasons to be happy... Or you'll only attain the completion of goals instead of happiness. Life is now and it's ok to be happy with it now. As it is. It's wonderful. But don't be afraid to change... Your happiness is based on you.

Ah, here's a short one. It's a second version. I would say the first shouldn't have come, but the second couldn't exist without the former. Someone had reminded me that I rewrote this. That I took the darkness I created and transformed it into light by extending love toward it. Needless to say, I may have found the way to finish the novel authentically and peacefully immerse myself back into character. 

Maybe all of our second chances in life and love are with different circumstances & people? 

Kisses, m.

Closer #2

Closer. Gently I pull his face towards mine with a smile. Both hands holding his jaw firmly and I can feel the lines of his mouth lift to match my grin. Both my arms tightly locked with the intent to move in. So very innocently I look up into those eyes and try to match their gaze. He lowers his arms and I reach over. His breath hits my cheek in deep heavy blows of anticipation. Finally my face is resting against his and he’s waiting for it. The tip of my nose meets his cheek and I giggle. He remains still and solemn allowing my gentle affections to progress. Carefully my lips find their way upwards. Closer. Lightly I push tiny little kisses against his skin. Lips flit over and around the eyes before making their journey to the ears. Delicate little flutters of his eyes caress my face as I move. Hot breath escapes the warmth of my open mouth as I continue to address the situation. Never breaking my hold of his jaw I begin nursing my target with the tenderness of a skilled surgeon. The lobe of his ear is tender to my kiss. Without indicating any warning I gently open to spread my lips further for a tickle with my tongue. Mouth continues to move back around when he laughs at my silliness. Closer. Carefully I withdraw my lips and add a breath of warm air into his ear. He presses a slight pressure against my cheek with his lips. Drawing back I tenderly kiss his neck with my lips before climbing back up around his ear. His pressure against my skin slowly intensifies as I draw out my intention. Quietly his breath increases with excitement. Tenderly I hold onto his jawbone making it clear that he is to remain still. The sound of his breath is growing deeper while I continue to tickle and press into the opening with my breath. As he attempts to draw back with simple pleasure I persist in keeping him close. Waiting for a sound that hasn’t made its presence known, his nose presses against my cheek to tease it out. Closer. Finally the tip of my tongue softly pushes back against the top of my mouth until there is no barrier. With no more than a breath I tell him, “Do you want to know a secret?”

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