Saturday, February 20, 2010

Out by the River.

Out by the River.

Look little lady, I’m sorry this has to happen right now. But we need your statement. The best you can remember. As soon as this is recorded, then we can go from there. Alright, just what you remember… and take your time. Let me know if you need a moment.

There’s really no good place to begin. The details… yeah, I can’t remember how we ended up out in the woods. But we did and somehow made it to the riverside. I’m pretty sure I said it was ok. I told you he asked me to go, right? The game was amazing. We won by a landslide. The other team didn’t even need to show up. I’d wanted to go to the party at Riff’s. The girls on the squad were in on it. Anthony knew I’d liked him and we’d agreed if the game was a victory I’d go with him. Oh… I’m sorry, lieutenant. You want to know about the other thing. Hold on… give me a minute. I remember. By the riverside. We were on the blanket. Sounds of the crickets were louder than usual. I remember cause it was the first thing he said before giving me his jacket to lean on. Soon his hand was on my leg and moving slowly upwards. Told me how pretty I looked when he put his hand on my face. In the dark it was hard to see his face. But it was there. I could feel his breath against my neck. I just wanted him to like me. Things changed too quickly. Words became actions. My head spun before I could agree or disagree, his hands were grabbing at my waist. Then he pulled at my skirt. Unfastening his belt with a quick ease. Soft words decisively chosen attempt to disguise his harsh actions. Actions that continued too quickly. My heart wouldn’t stop beating. I was afraid and couldn’t stop it. Eventually my body lie crushed beneath him. Skirt raised up to my chest. Rough skin of his legs pressing against my thighs. The force was overwhelming. Splitting my insides. Pressure against tightness. A restriction that I couldn’t control. Perhaps out of panic. My hands pushed and pulled at hair and face to no use. I wanted it to stop. I know I asked. And it didn’t. Tony wouldn’t quit. I thought he liked me. I wanted him to like me more. Not like that. Screams that would not come to help. Voice denying my freedom. Why couldn’t I call for help? Repeatedly came the harsh painful shoves while his hands… his hands pressed at my hips to keep me pinned down. Head pushing against my neck. Teeth biting the skin that ran along my collarbone. Unbearable force. Never letting up. Harder. Faster. Mud seeping into my clothes, ground slamming against my back all the while it continued. Tearing me in two. Then it was over and the pain remained. My body felt like there was no wind left in it. Anthony got off. Pulling down my skirt, I regained composure. He offered me a hand. Smiling he said that I was a great girl and that others never wanted it like I had. Said he was glad I understood. He was so tired of all the fakes with their teasing. ‘Understand what’, I said, while getting up, as I pulled the dirty leaves out of my hair. We missed the blanket. Dirty ground. He told me, ‘you know Barbs, when you agreed to come out here.’ Out by the river. And I had. Dismissed it with a smile and we walked back to the car.

Miss Mackintosh, I’m sorry to interrupt. But I need to turn the tape.

Barbara. Or you can call me Barbie, everyone else does… It’s okay. I’m a little fuzzy now. I wouldn’t mind a break. Can I have a cigarette? It’s just that you’re both smoking and… I know I’m only sixteen, but…

Sure kid, have a death stick on me.

Um, can you light this? My hands they’re no good. I can’t stop shaking. Hey… Why’s there all this red stuff on my hands? My nails and arms are covered in…

Miss, hold on. Just let me and my partner talk for a minute outside…

Well, when you gonna do it? You gotta tell that little girl she killed the star quarterback at the victory after party in front of 50 people. She took an old hunting knife and gut him in the courtyard of Riff’s. Witnesses said she never stopped. He screamed but she never yielded. You gotta…

Look! There’s a certain finesse to these situations. You can’t spring it on a person. They have to…

He’s dead… dead… dead… no. No! NO! AAAAGGHH!!! LET ME OUT!

Nevermind. I think she just remembered.

I would say please make the jump. But not tonight... Rape. Yeah, I went there but tried to keep it clean. There’s a darker version as there should be. Blame Volver. Shh. No one is a victim. No one is the subjugator. It is simply new territory I hadn't explored. There’s another unsavory bit I’m working on thanks to that movie. Something that indeed makes me sick inside. A sicker subject matter than I’ve dealt with yet. not going to say enjoy on this one??kisses. m.

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