Wednesday, September 28, 2011



He says this word pointing his finger telling me where and when it needs to change without using any other words.
I like when he uses words. But he’s not using them this time.
No explanation. No request made.
This time I’m supposed to know what’s happening with the shift of his wrist.
One finger pointed at me. Three pointed back at him.
All three fingers are telling him what he wants to tell me. 
I wish he would simply tell me. Ask me. Treat me like a person who he said he once cared for.
I don’t like this. This is like walking in the dark where these actions we make aren’t any clearer.

 He says when I tell him I can’t see any clearer than before.
Before all this when I said something to him and no one else.
No one that mattered when I said those words for only him. They still won’t matter if I tell him again.
Because he won’t hear my words and everyone who isn’t him can still hear them.
They’ll listen. They’ll hear all the things he’ll never take in because he’s afraid.
And they’ll use my words for him against me because he’s afraid and left me alone.
Alone to face those who think my words are about them.
It isn’t about them. It isn’t clearer.

He says softly before lowering his hand.
I listen and wait for his words that have yet to come.
Knowing full well if there’s a chance, I continue to listen.
I listen and hope that they don’t mistake their words for his and my words for them.
Words aren’t as powerful as his actions.
Actions that calmly tell me all I need to know before he says it once more quietly.


300. you. every time you point a finger at someone three fingers are pointed back at you. that’s the truth. it’s something my grandmother used to tell us as kids. got a reminder of that wisdom the other day. ever mistake someone’s words for you and want them to explain because it made no sense? sometimes there is no explanation, perhaps it was simply not meant for you at that moment in time. This was from the ‘five’ -300s. enjoy what’s in front of you, the people, the love, and living. it’s the most important thing. kisses. m.

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